Murder Drones One-Shots [Volume One]

A Hairy Situation

Request from @Geared_Up_Goat eNVy.  Enjoy!

"AHHHHH!" N's scream could be heard throughout the landing pod, V, while all snuggled up hanging upside down from a pole, she had fallen from the sound, causing her to land on her mattress inside of her room. Setting aside her annoyance from the rude wake-up call, she dashed towards the sound of the male murder drone's screams.

"N? N where are you?" V asked, looking around, trying to pinpoint the exact location with her visor.

"In here!" He screamed from what she could now locate as the bathroom. Scurrying towards the door, she opened it with a quick motion, only to be met with something she wasn't expecting.

There her boyfriend stood in front of the mirror, tears prickling from the corners of his optics, and on his face, was hair, a beard to be exact, in the shape and style of a goatee. The two lovers exchanged glances, V still in her fighting pose before she slowly stood herself back upright, retracting the claw she had taken out, trading it with her normal robotic hand, before a snort came out of her, turning into a hysteric laugh.

"W-what-HAH! What the fuck?! Hahahaha!!!" V banged her hand on the counter, hunching over, her midsection beginning to hurt the more she laughed. N only pouted and stomped his foot in frustration.

"V! It's not funny!" He cried, she eventually calmed herself down and went in to hug him, which he was a little hesitant about seeing as how she just laughed at him.

"N, I'm sorry it just caught me off guard is all. But what happened?" She asked him, and he just shrugged.

"I don't know, everything was normal last night, there wasn't anything out of the norm of my routine I usually do." He replied, and she began to try and figure out how they could solve this problem. There was then a lightbulb appearing on her visor for a second, signaling she got an idea.

"What if we called Uzi? Maybe she can do an examination on you. Maybe it wasn't your routine but something with your programming?" She suggested, N nodded in agreement. He called Uzi through his visor, asking her to come by the pod when she could, resulting in her showing up about thirty minutes later.

As she climbed down the latter, greeting the two murder bots, she paused.

"Hey bitches I'm here-! What the FUCK?! Hahahahahaha!!!!" Uzi fell on her ass, still laughing even after hitting the ground. V couldn't help but join her a little bit, still finding N's little dilemma funny as hell. N curled up into a ball in the corner of the room in embarrassment, wanting nothing more than to shut down in that very moment.

"Uzi! It's not funny! And watch your language!" He shouted from said corner, and Uzi lifted herself up, calming her frantic hysteria down.

"Yeah, because cursing is totally the issue right now." The purple worker replied back, a smirk appearing on her face as she fought back her laughs.

They all managed to sit down and talked through the situation. Uzi asked the male murder drone if anything out of the norm happened recently or if he had been feeling weird at all, like before N just shook his head no, saying everything was completely normal, but V couldn't help but notice a slight blush on his visor, recalling his usual routine.

He's hiding something...

After some further questions, Uzi cut a sample of N's beard, running it through a DNA and
RNA test to look into the further structure of it all. A couple of hours later, V and N still sat in the control room, just recently finished with hunting before the purple worker laid a folder in front of them, the two murder bots looked up at her. She sighed, opening the folder to show them what she found before speaking.

"Basically, N was one of the first murder drones created by Cyn, not to mention his program was favored by her as well. Taking this into consideration, one thing I noticed was that the more in favor the murder drone is, the more biological based they are."

"And that means what in this situation?" V asked, Uzi blushed a little, clearing her mechanical throat before discussing the elephant in the room.

"The reason why N's beard just suddenly showed up is because a recent growth in testosterone levels. Meaning in order for the goatee to grow that fast, it means he recently discovered arousal." N's visor flushed, his secret was out, and V's optics hollowed in shock, realizing what Uzi was saying.

"Does that mean what I think it means?" She asked the purple worker, who only nodded.

"I can make a program that will tone down your levels back to normal, and once that's installed the beard should be gone completely."

"Please do so!" N begged of Uzi, utterly embarrassed to the point of no return, all he wanted to do that moment was stab his core. Meanwhile V looked at him with a mischievous glimmer in her optics. The purple worker could tell where this was going to lead and decided to take her leave, telling N she'd be back with the program the next day.

Uzi shut the entrance to the pod behind her, sparing a couple of moments of silence between the two murder drones before V shot up.

"YOU JERKED OFF TO ME!" She giggled, pointing at him.

"I-well-ah! I'm sorry!" N held up his arms, he expected V to be disgusted or yell at him, but instead, he only felt an arm get put on his shoulder, before V straddled herself on his lap.

"You should have just come to me instead if you were that pent up~." She teased him, he looked at her, whining in desperation. She smirked at the sudden bucking his hips, desperate for her friction. "How about we have some fun~?" She got up, taking his hand and leading him to her bedroom. The night filled with nothing but passion and moans.

The next day Uzi came into the pod with the program, and instead of seeing the two usually bored, spinning around in the pilot chairs, she spotted N, standing and waiting for the purple worker, his tail wagging happily and beard just a little longer. Meanwhile V was sitting in one of the chairs, her visor blushing with fury while not daring to get up, considering she couldn't walk. Uzi seemed to put the pieces together almost immediately.

"Robo-Jesus you two I swear..."

Word Count: 1087 words.