This Is Everything I Didn't Say [EN]

Over Again*

This is the only French x English song I ever wrote. Verses are originally in French, pre-chorus is mixed, chorus is in English.

---------------------------------------------------------

[Fully translated version]

As a child, I saw him ever so rarely
But still, I called him "father"
Worked from morning 'til night
Came home just to rest easy
Refused to play or spend time with us
And made my sister sit it out

Should we keep quiet or cry out
Or pretend we are okay
We can't see, and won't see
All the violence and all the tears

Cracked the word "dad" in a yell
The image is now just a shell
And was shattered years ago
As he slammed her into the wall
And I heard her desperate call
He always acts the same
As if we were just a game
Yelling and hitting
The cycle ends but starts over again

Over the past decade
I watched my life crumble down
My dreams withered to lies
With my father building up hell
His sweet words became saws
His fists broke through glass

Should we keep quiet or cry out
Or pretend we are okay
We can't see, and won't see
All the violence and all the tears

Cracked the word "dad" in a yell
The image is now just a shell
And was shattered years ago
As he slammed her into the wall
And I heard her desperate call
He always acts the same
As if we were just a game
Yelling and hitting
The cycle ends but starts over again

Let our nightmare finally end
Someday we might just see the light
Maybe we'll finally be alright
Once we've broken through the abyss.

---------------------------------------------------------

[Original "Frenglish" version]

Enfant je ne le voyais guère
Mais je l'appelais un père
Travaillait du matin au soir
Revenait pour s'assoir
Refusait de jouer avec nous
Et envoyait ma soeur à genoux

Faut-il se taire ou hurler
Or pretend we are okay
We can't see, and won't see
Toute la violence et les cris

Cracked the word "dad" in a yell
The image is now just a shell
And was shattered years ago
As he slammed her into the wall
And I heard her desperate call
He always acts the same
As if we were just a game
Yelling and hitting
The cycle ends but starts over again

Durant la dernière décennie
S'est écroulée sous mes yeux ma vie
Mes songes devenus mensonges
Mon père créant les enfers
Ses douces paroles devenues scies
Ses poings causant des bris

Faut-il se taire ou hurler
Or pretend we are okay
We can't see, and won't see
Toute la violence et les cris

Cracked the word "dad" in a yell
The image is now just a shell
And was shattered years ago
As he slammed her into the wall
And I heard her desperate call
He always acts the same
As if we were just a game
Yelling and hitting
The cycle ends but starts over again

Que notre cauchemar finisse
Someday we may just see the light
Maybe we'll finally be alright
Une fois dépassées les abysses.

---------------------------------------------------------

NOTE

I wanted so badly to make it through the auditions for the school's talent show, at least once in my high school journey. I nearly made it, had I not been sick and brokenhearted at the time of the auditions. But all in all, this poem would never have been turned into a song, if it weren't for my best friend who became like a brother, all the while he worked on the melody of my song and taught me the basics of how to sing. I'll forever owe him for that <3 I love you