I was with Seamus in the courtyard. He had his arm around me and I just sat there reading my book. It didn't feel right, to be with Seamus. I had a weird dream, I'm not entirely sure it was a dream though. It was of Draco. Draco was saying sorry. He said he was sorry that he didn't look after me like he promised to. He also said that this time he will keep his promise and that he hates how I hate him. I think I was imagining it because how could he say that when he has been so rude towards me all term... Then, later on in the 'dream' Seamus came along and Draco said that the only reason why I was with Seamus was because I felt bad for him. That isn't true though, I did really like Seamus in the beginning. But now I'm not so sure. I guess I'm still with him because I didn't want to feel so alone.
I don't think I should be with anyone. I mean, with everything going on. Everytime I start caring, I get hurt. Maybe it would be better if I just pushed everyone away, no one will get hurt.
"You okay Ember?" Seamus asked snapping me out of my thoughts. "You've been staring at the same page for a good ten minutes now.
I closed my book and sighed, "I was just thinking."
"Careful now, wouldn't want to hurt yourself." Seamus teased.
I laughed a bit and playfully pushed him. "I have to talk to you about something."
"What is it?" Seamus asked.
"We should break up." I told him straight forward and his face fell. "I love you Seamus, I really do but as a friend."
Seamus sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Did I do something?"
I shook my head, "no. You are breathtakingly amazing, Seamus. I just feel don't the same anymore you know?"
"I understand." Seamus said quietly.
I kissed his cheek. "Believe me when I say this, you are truly amazing and anyone would be lucky to have you."
Seamus sighed, "thanks Ember."
"I love you."
"I love you too, Ember." Seamus said with a small forced smile.
I kissed his cheek again. "I'll see you later, Seamus." I got up and headed to Dumbledore's office. I need to talk to him. I knocked on his door and opened it. I saw Dumbledore standing next to his pevensie staring at his reflection.
He looked at me and gave me a warm smile. "Ember."
I returned his smile, "hi. I just wanted to stop by and talk for awhile."
"Of course. I always love talking to you my Dear." He lead me to a pair of steps and we sat down. "Is there anything on your mind?"
"There are a lot of things on my mind." I said. "Where are you going to take Harry and I tomorrow?"
"We are going to get a horcrux," he replied. "And you will have to trust me."
I gave him a small smile, "I'll always trust you."
"How are things with Voldemort?" Dumbledore asked, "is he still visiting your dreams?"
I nodded, "sometimes. I really hate it. I wish I could shield him away from my dreams, no matter which spell or charm I use, he always manages to get through."
"You mustn't let him know you fear him." Dumbledore said.
"He doesn't scare me." I said. "The only thing that scares me is what he will do to my family if I don't succeed in what he wants me to do."
"You will succeed." Dumbledore said.
I looked at him and frowned. "What if a part of me doesn't want to succeed?"
He stroked my hair, "my dear child. You are everything to me. I will lay down my life for you."
"I'd lay my life life down for you too." I said quietly.
"But you mustn't." He said, "my time is coming."
I frowned, "what are you talking about?"
"There is a reason why Voldemort can reach into your mind, into Harry's mind." Dumbledore said.
"You're scaring me."
"There is a reason why you both can talk to snakes." He continued. "There is a reason why you both can feel the other horcruxes."
I stared at Dumbledore. "You can't be suggesting.... " I paused, "suggesting that Harry and I are-"
"Harry is." Dumbledore said.
I shook my head, "no. He can't be." I stood up, "he is not a horcrux."
"I'm afraid he is." Dumbledore said. "The night Voldemort killed Lily and James, when he tried to kill Harry. The curse rebounded and a part of his soul latched onto the nearest living being."
I shook my head, "this is not happening. You mean to say that after everything that Harry's been through, he eventually has to die?"
Dumbledore nodded, "and Voldemort himself has to do it."
"Why are you telling me this?" I questioned as tears threatened to fall.
"Because I will not have a chance to tell you in the future." Dumbledore said. "Harry mustn't know the truth. Not until it is his time."
"What do you mean by you won't have a chance to tell me in the future?" I questioned, "what do you mean your time is coming? Don't you dare tell me you're going to die!"
"You already knew this day would come." Dumbledore said calmly. "You nor Draco can be the ones to kill me."
"Then how are you going to die?" I questioned, "I can't lose you. You were my first father figure." I choked back tears. "You just told me Harry had to eventually die and now you're telling me you're about to die?" I shook my head. "This can't be happening."
"Ember. You know I love you. But everything must come to an end."
I looked at him through my tears. "How can you tell me this? How can you bring more pain into my life?"
"I know you can handle it, Ember. You are a strong girl-"
"No I'm not!" I exclaimed, "I can't do this! I need you. I need you to guide me. I can't do this on my own." I wiped my tears away. "I can't lose another person I care about."
Dumbledore pulled me into a hug. "You will get through his, Ember. You will win this fight. You will help Harry win this fight."
I pulled away, "how can i help Harry? How can I help him without him dying?"
"I'm afraid there is no other way."
I took a deep breath, "there has to be another way."
"The boy must die when the time is right, Ember." Dumbledore said, "when Voldemort is at his weakest."
"Harry can not die. You can not die." I said, "if anyone should, it should be me. I'm Voldemort's daughter. Voldemort should die. I should die."
Dumbledore gave me a look, "Ember. You know what must happen."
I groaned in frustration. "I need to get some air." I quickly walked out of his office and ran down the corridor. I wiped my tears away as I ran down to the Black Lake. I sat down by the lake and looked down at the water. I wish this could stop. I want this to stop. I can't lose more people. I hate the fact that I can't do anything. I hate how I can't help them.
