Criminal Minds x Reader

All My Love [D.M]

"How have things been?" you asked.

You both had a smile on your face, a glass clutched in your hands as he poured you some red wine. The man in front of you had not changed a bit, indeed, the only thing you could spot was how much more handsome he had become, which you did not imagine was possible, and how much more pronounced his features had gotten. Which was normal of course, since you hadn't met him since the academy.

He placed the bottle on the table, the glass almost silent on the marble. "Well, love, I should ask you that. How many years has it been?"

"Too many."

He chuckled. "Definitely too many"

Nearly seven years had passed since you had last seen each other. You could still remember the last evening you spent together before he left. You could recall it as if only a day had passed.

"Don′t let the hurdle fall" you sang, gaze fixed in front of you, hands clasped on the steering wheel.

You didn′t turn your gaze, but you could feel Derek′s eyes on you, his voice gentle and full of melancholy as he continued the song. "So be the girl you loved. Be the girl you loved"

You were driving, and although your body was leaning toward the road, your head was somewhere else. You had just been out to dinner, laughing and joking all the time. Your playlist had been going ever since you had gotten into the car, and you were sure that by now, by dint of shouting out the lyrics, you had shaken the frame of the car. But this song was different. You weren't singing it, you were saying it like a poem, like every other time.

"I'll wait" Derek continued, the words sweet on his tongue because he meant them.

Neither of you knew when you would see each other again. During the academy you had become friends, maybe even something more, but neither of you dared to say a word about it. You knew that he flirted with all the girls, and he knew that you deserved to date someone better than him, or at least, that's what he always told himself when his heart leapt every time he saw you.

You were silent for a while, until you parked under your apartment.

'Suddenly I'm hit, is this darkness or the dawn? And your friends are gone, and your friends won′t come' hissed the radio for the last time. From that day on, you never listened to Retrograde again. It just wouldn't have been the same without him. You turned off the engine.

He climbed the stairs and once inside you both sat down on the couch.

"Do you want to watch something?" you asked him.

He smiled, as he did every other time you offered. "The usual?"

"The usual" you repeated, leaning against his chest.

He had his arm wrapped around your body, holding you close as if he didn't even want air to come between the two of you. The movie was going, but none of you were really paying attention to it. By now you knew it by heart anyway.

He lowered his gaze to you. In his eyes you were the most angelic person he had ever seen. He wanted to be with you forever, to hold you and never let you go.

"Y/N?" he called you.

"Yeah?" you answered, eyes still fixed on the screen even though you weren't really looking. You didn't want to hurt yourself, you didn't have the courage to turn toward him and see him in that moment, knowing he couldn't be yours.