Criminal Minds x Reader

Losing You, Losing Me [A.H] pt. 2

You barely slept that night. The empty silence of your apartment did little to comfort you as you replayed the argument in your mind, Aaron's voice echoing alongside your own frustration and hurt. It was the first real rift since starting this relationship, and it lingered in a way that felt deeper than just a disagreement. You knew he was guarded, but facing his hesitation so directly felt like a wall between you, an unspoken rule that you couldn't quite understand.

Three days passed since the argument, each day marked by the uncomfortable tension in the air. At the office, it was as if there was a glass wall between you. From his office window, you could feel Aaron's eyes on you as you moved through your day, but he didn't make any effort to approach you. It stung, more than you wanted to admit. You had grown accustomed to the way he showed his care in subtler ways — small glances, touches just out of sight. But now, those moments were gone, leaving a hollow in their absence.

One morning, you found yourself in the kitchenette, laughing at something Derek had said. The team around you was unaware of the weight you'd been carrying, and somehow, that helped. You laughed a bit louder, hoping that maybe if you pretended hard enough, the ache might ease. As you headed back to your desk, coffee in hand, you caught a glimpse of Aaron watching from his office again. He straightened when he saw you look his way, but instead of glancing away, he held your gaze for just a second too long before resuming his work.

The day stretched on, the hours weighed down by that silence, the tension unspoken but heavy between you. You could see the strain on his face every time he looked at you, as though the distance was affecting him too. You knew he was conflicted — his sense of duty, his instinct to compartmentalize everything pulling against the connection you shared. And for you, that same distance had started to feel unbearable.

When the day finally ended, you packed up your things, ready to leave for the evening. The team was already filtering out, heading home to catch what rest they could before the next case. You walked through the bullpen and out into the parking garage, your mind still half on the argument, half on the exhausted feeling that had weighed on you all week.

When you reached your car, you startled at the sight of Aaron standing in front of it, his hands in his pockets. You took a breath, steadying yourself as you moved forward, clutching your keys tighter.

"Aaron," you breathed, your voice low in the quiet space, "You scared me"

"I didn't mean to" he replied softly, the strain clear in his voice. His face was softer than you had seen in days, his expression hesitant, almost vulnerable.

He cleared his throat, glancing down at his shoes before looking back up at you. "I was wondering if you might want to come over tonight. We could watch something, relax"

For a moment, you didn't answer, trying to hide the rush of emotion that his invitation stirred in you. He was usually so controlled, so rarely open like this, and yet here he was, out of the office earlier than he ever left, reaching out. Still, the pain of that night, the wall he had built between you, hung in your mind.

"I don't know if that's a good idea" you murmured, lowering your gaze to avoid his. The weight of his eyes on you felt heavy, filled with things unspoken. You tried to ignore the way your chest tightened, tried to push away the part of you that wanted to close the distance and erase the strain that had grown between you both.

Then, you heard him drop his bag to the ground, the soft sound of it falling in the quiet garage. Before you could look up, you felt his hands on your cheeks, his thumbs brushing against your skin as he stepped closer, his lips meeting yours in a kiss that caught you off guard. His kiss was soft but filled with urgency, as if he'd been holding himself back for too long.

When he pulled away, he kept his hands on your face, his eyes searching yours. "I don't want to lose you" he said quietly, his voice almost a whisper. "I know I don't say it, or show it, but I've been trying to keep control of everything, and I don't want to push you away. I just don't know how to do this. I'm still learning how to let someone in"

You felt your heart ache at his words, the sincerity in his voice breaking down the wall you had put up since that night. He was new to this, just as you were, and though his restraint had hurt you, it was coming from a place of fear rather than rejection. You knew how much he had endured, how deeply he felt the weight of his responsibilities, and now, standing here, you could see that his fear of losing control was really a fear of losing you.

"Aaron" you said softly, your own hand reaching up to hold his as it rested on your cheek. "You deserve to let someone in, to be cared for. I care about you, and I want to be there for you. But I need to feel like we're in this together"

He nodded, his face softening as he looked down at you, his hands still gentle on your cheeks. "You're right. I've been too focused on keeping my guard up. I thought giving you space would make it easier, but I just ended up pushing you further away. I'll try harder, I want to, for both of us" his tone was urgent, as if speaking any different wouldn't make you understand.

You felt a wave of relief wash over you, the weight of the past few days beginning to lift. You knew it wouldn't be easy, that you both had a lot to learn in balancing work with what you shared. But as you looked at him now, his face unguarded and his words honest, you knew it was worth it.

Aaron's hand slipped down to yours, holding it tightly as he stepped back. "So... Will you come over? Just a bit, maybe? We can try that movie we kept talking about". He gave you a soft smile, your expression mimicking his.

You let out a small laugh, nodding as you squeezed his hand. "Yeah. Let's go to your place"