truly, madly, deeply- niall horan

simply poetry, i think

(035)

all she felt was pain.

her body was physically sore, sure it would be, she has just miscarried and had suffered at the hands of her mother.

she could still feel the presence of her mother, her feet kicking harshly at her stomach, knocking all the wind out of her and killing her own daughters happiness.

all that pain she felt in her body was nothing compared to what she felt in her heart.

the second niall told her the news, a piece of her heart broke into a thousand pieces.

she was ready to be a mother. whether it was planned or not, her and niall were ready to be parents.

ally had spent a few nights in hospital, the doctors making sure she had fully recovered before discharging her.

now she was home, all she could think about was what had happened not long ago; she could still see the blood up the walls that she was sure niall had scrubbed violently but refused to wash away.

all she did was spend her days curled up in bed, mourning her baby that she never got to meet.

niall was a godsend; he always made sure she was comfortable, never pressuring her to get out of bed or do something if she didn't want to do it.

he did make her do small tasks, like helping him cook dinner, because he knew that if she lay in bed for hours on end she would struggle to recover.

but those distractions were unable to waver the destructive thoughts plaguing her mind every second of the day.

niall had suggested to journal, he said that is what helps him, other than writing songs of course, and he thought ally may benefit from it too.

so ally sat criss-crossed on her bed, some light music filling the loud silence, the untouched pink journal resting in her hand. there was something so intimidating about a blank notebook that made her unable to take up this habit years ago, but now she was forcing herself to do it: to make herself heal a tiny bit.

she couldn't handle the intensity of blank pages so she doodled for a while, collecting her thoughts, organising them in her mind.

eventually she wrote them down.

thoughts of her parents and not being good enough. thoughts of her precious baby and never being able to meet what they could have been. and somehow thoughts of tom and how he treated her throughout those six years, hurting her in every way possible; he truly was the smallest man who ever lived.

flicking between the pages, ally realised she had three poem-like things written down. she had done this subconsciously but somehow she had these pieces of art laying before her.

"niall," she called out, only for her to quietly laugh at him when he ran in looking concerned.

"are you okay?" he asked gently, slightly smiling at the laugh he hadn't heard since the incident.

"can you read these?" ally asked as he sat down on the unmade bed next to her.

niall initially refused, stating these were private to her but she insisted, practically shoving the notebook in his face.

after a few minutes of silence niall spoke up. "jo, these are fucking amazing. why did i never know you could write songs this good?"

"oh no they aren't songs. i'm not a songwriter, they are simply poetry, i think," she said, second guessing herself at the end.

"darling, what do you think songs are?"

"oh." she replied, thinking about her next steps. "i might sell them if they are truly as good as you say."

"what why?" he asked, shocked that someone with ally's singing and writing ability would want to do that.

"i'm not a singer, niall. i can't record these but i may as well give them to someone that deserves them."

"i know someone who might want to hear them if we try to work out melodies for them all," niall suggested.

"okay, lets get going then."

so, for the next few days niall and ally spent all their time working on perfecting every song, making sure they were good enough to pitch.

the next thing she knows, ally is on facetime with taylor swift chatting away about the songs engraved into her mind.

the smallest man who ever lived, bigger than the whole sky and good enough: three completely different songs that helped heal a part of allys broken heart by giving her an outlet to project her feelings onto.

three songs that will touch millions of hearts, giving people something to relate to, making them feel less alone in the world of hurt and isolation.

PAIGE SPEAKS:

the smallest man who ever lived (very obviously about tom lol) and bigger than the whole sky (rip nally baby) are both by the living legend that is mother taylor allison swift and then good enough (allys struggles with her parents and not being good enough) is by little mix 🫶

okay thank you for reading I LOVE YOU ALLLLLL