Haunted

u n c o n c i o u s

✫ ༒ Joey ༒ ✫

I was lying on my back staring at my bedroom ceiling, attempting to ignore the screaming from downstairs.

I had nothing left in me to go and fight for my family. I was dead inside. I felt rotten.

I was falling deep into a hole and there was no dragging me out of it.

I turned on my side and looked at the tinfoil, lighter and broken pen on my mattress as I drifted in and out of consciousness.

"Another suspension. Do you want to ruin your life?"

"Joey, help me, please!"

"You're off the hurling team. Don't even think about stepping foot on a pitch until your suspension is lifted."

Bang. Bang. Bang.

"Where's your precious son now, whore?"

"You are such a disappointment..."

"What did you take?"

"Why are you the way you are?"

"Oh Jesus, Teddy, that's heroin!"

"Don't you ever think about anyone other than yourself?"

"Joey, baby, can you hear me?"

"He's off his trolley on drugs, Marie. There's no talking to him when he's like that. Wait until he comes around and I'll give the little prick a good talking-to."

"I wish you were never born."

"I'm all in with you, Joey."

"Close the door. I don't want the rest of the children seeing him like this."

"No, daddy, I'm scared."

Footsteps retreating.

"I want to die, Joe."

Door closing.

"I need you, Joey. And I think you need me too."

Lying alone in the dark, I didn't know what was real and what wasn't.

I couldn't feel anything.
I couldn't hurt like this.
There was no pain.

Thank god.

Because I couldn't take anymore.