Hate That I Love You

17: growing closer

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ASHIANNA

Every morning at Enderun was usually the same for me—slide into the homeroom, keep my head low, and avoid the drama.

But lately, things have shifted. Because every day, without fail, Mavis was there.

It wasn't just her physical presence, though she seemed to be everywhere.

She made sure to catch my eye in the hallway, gave little waves across the cafeteria, and dropped by my locker with some lame excuse.

It was the way she showed up, consistently, that was throwing me off balance.

"Need help carrying that?" Mavis asked one afternoon, gesturing to my stack of books.

I raised an eyebrow. "Since when did you start caring about library books?"

She shrugged, brushing her red hair behind her ear with a grin that softened her features. "Since I knew it would save your arms some strain." Before I could answer, she took half the pile from my hands, walking beside me.

I rolled my eyes, but inside, I was fighting a smile. There was something about the way Mavis looked at me lately that felt different—no arrogance, no smugness.

Just genuine care.

The changes in her were subtle, but they were there. She'd smile at others, hold back on her snark, and even apologize to people she'd wronged.

It was like watching someone try to fix themselves piece by piece, all for a shot at a second chance.

One afternoon, I was chatting with Mali and Jai under the trees near the quad when a guy from one of my classes approached, looking a bit too eager.

He was a bit close and touchy that I find really uncomfortable yet I remained polite to accommodate him, limitly.

"Hi Ashi, you look beautiful today" He smiled

"Oh, not really—thank you I guess" I mumbled and flinched when he tried to fix my hair but I quickly moved away.

"Oh, sorry" He raised his hand, smugly "They're covering your mesmerizing face" He shrugs, smirking halfway.

"Ang kapal ng mukha, kala mo naman pogi" Jai who was ready to throw a punch mumbled but I was holding her hand secretly for control.

The guy didn't stop there as he steps again for another forced conversation that I quickly brushed off, answering shortly and not when it's unnecessary.

Not until when he tried inviting me to a movie night, and before I could say anything, Mavis stepped up, her posture solid.

"Hey, Ashi and I  got plans. Maybe next time" She said, her tone was firm but polite.

"Bakod na bakod ah" Mali snarled as Jai rolled her eyes. "Feeling spoke person" Dagdag pa niya pero hindi ko pinansin at may pagpapaumanhin na tumingin sa lalaki.

"M-mavis, yeah— of c-course she's yours" The guy stammered, his eyes darting between us before he left, looking a bit embarrassed.

"That was unnecessary" I muttered once he was gone.

Mavis didn't flinch. She just gave me a look that said she wasn't sorry. "I'm just looking out for you. Can't help it if some people don't know how to take a hint."

I wanted to be annoyed when I felt the butterflies rose up from my stomach, but there was something comforting about her protectiveness.

The old Mavis would've made a scene; the new Mavis simply kept her stance beside me.

And it wasn't just the protective gestures. Mavis had this way of dropping these lines that caught me off guard.

Words that, even if I wanted to ignore them, kept replaying in my head.

"You're stronger than you give yourself credit for" She says, almost casually, like it was just a fact of life.

Or, "I know I've messed up, but I'm not going anywhere. You deserve someone who sticks around."

Sometimes I wanted to ask her why she was trying so hard. Other times, I didn't have to.

Her actions spoke for her: the little moments she spent waiting by my locker, the way she pulled me aside to ask how my day was, how she always noticed the little things, like when I'd sigh from exhaustion or get annoyed by something small.

At first, I didn't let myself believe it. I'd been burned by her before, and trusting her again felt risky. But as the days passed, I felt my walls cracking, bit by bit.

My brother and I's conversation lay still in my mind. His words that I should follow what's my heart wants was still there yet the doubt I have lingered.

There's still a lot of unanswered questions messing with my head pero kahit ako hindi rin alam kung paano masasagot iyon.

Mavis was persistent, lagi siyang nasa tabi ko and I know she's the only answer to those uncertainty pero takot akong aminin iyon sa sarili ko.

Pero sa kabila noon, base with her actions— I still decided to open a door for her despite being doubtful on myself — with her.

Second chances wouldn't hurt yet I know that I should still be more careful and not be blinded by such an act dahil baka ako ulit ang masaktan kung sakali man— though I know it was far away from that because of the sincerity that shown in her eyes whenever it met mine.

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One evening, as we walked together across the campus grounds, she turned to me, a question in her eyes.

"Can I ask you something?" She said, her voice soft.

I nodded, feeling my pulse quicken.

"Am I doing this right? Showing you I mean, trying to be better for you?" Her usual confidence faltered, revealing something raw and honest underneath.

I took a breath, feeling the weight of my answer.

"You're trying," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "And that's— enough for now."

She didn't press further. Instead, she just nodded, her eyes shining in the fading sunlight as a small smile curved her lips.

Maybe, just maybe, this version of Mavis—the one standing beside me now, not as a rival but as someone who was truly trying—was someone I could let back into my life.

For the first time, I felt like I wasn't alone in this.

And that was a feeling worth holding onto.

She still made my heart skip a beat and the past few months— I know, we're growing closer.

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