Bestfriends {Zaylena} #Wattys2016

*Chapter 53*

You & I by One Direction

Zayn's POV

"Let's have a baby." The words literally slipped past my mouth.

I honestly don't know what I was thinking when I said that but at that moment I knew wanted to have a kid or multiple kids with my future wife. Even if Selena isn't ready I know I can wait until she is ready because that what good boyfriend/fiancé do. But the real question of the matter is can I wait that long?

"Zay-" Selena opened her mouth but quickly shut her mouth. She bowed her head and scratched the back of her head. "W-we just got engaged" she finally said something raising her head, yet she still had yet to look at me.

"Baby I know I'm rushing this but I feel like the faster we get married the faster we'll be able to start our family" I say what my heart is feeling.

"And what about you're career, about mine!" She finally stared at me, but yet made eye contact and her frown never left her face as if all this was so overwhelming for her.

"I'll quit and after the baby is born you can continue working" I said but her frown never left her lips.

She shook her head. "No! No Zayn your not quitting on a career you've worked so hard to gain and neither am I. Please Zayn don't think to much of this because you lost your first child" she said finally making eye contact with me, her eyes were glossy with tears, like she was on the verge of tears. I don't want to make her cry, she's my angel the last thing I want to do is make her cry.

"But I really do want this!" I plead desperately.

"Please can we just wait," she said walking towards me as she grabbed my hands in hers. Her soft hands rubbing against my not so soft but not so rough hands.

"Bu-"

"Zayn think about this, you need to learn how to grieve for the lost instead of trying to make a whole new family because you lost the first one" she says moving her hands to my cheek caressing my cheekbones. Her soft brown eyes staring into my hazel eyes.

"I have grieved" I say.

"No, crying once is not grieving because your already trying to move on. Your baby is gone, breaking down once and asking for another is not called grieving. When it kicks in I'll be here but I'm not ready to have a family Zayn" she said kissing my cheek.

"Sel-"

"C'mon lets get ready to go downstairs and start this movie night" she said completely changing the subject. She walked into her closet leaving me to stand in her room just thinking.

Is she right? Have I've not been grieving? Is that why I'm just rushing to start a new family because I have yet to let go of the fact that I lost my first child.

"Zayn are you coming?" Selena asked now dressed in shorts and a tank top with her hair in a messy bun and fuzzy slippers on her feet. As hot as L.A. is you'd be surprised how cool the weather is at night.

"Actually I'm going to stay in bed and think" I whisper softly taking off my shirt and pants, leaving me in my briefs and slipping under the covers into her bed. Our bed.

She walked to my side and took a seat next to me, running her hands through my growing hair. "Do you want me to stay? Because you know I would" she said giving me a small smile.