It's Code For You (Parallel NurseryVerse Series)

Chapter 14- Holding On...

Vivian should never have given Siobhan her spare key. Not for any specific reason, other than the fact that she now stood in the silent flat by herself in tears. Siobhan had less than an hour before she had to be back in Roger’s grasp- but she couldn’t leave Vivian in the dark again, not this time. Although, she wasn’t sure that this was any better, a handwritten note that was still just as vague sitting at the table where she had sat the night before- with no intention of leaving. How did everything change so quickly? She stared down at the note, re reading every last word;

My darling,

I couldn’t bear to leave you in the dark again. You never have deserved all that I have put you through- and I would be lying if I said that I didn’t wish I could stay to put you through more. Every ounce of me wants to sit at this table and wait for you to get home, wait for you to bring Jamie through that door and never think of anything else but the little family we had cultivated ever again. But... The world is cruel, my love, and I have no time left on the clock to spare. Please don’t try to find me, you will know where I am but it is no longer safe for you to try and save me. I wish we had more time, Viv. I truly loved every moment I spent being yours- and each of those moments will play in my mind every day until I die. I’ve never known love, Viv. Not once in all my 36 years. But I have felt it with you, and with Jamie- so thank you for it all. Please never doubt that I truly had love in my heart for you. I have to leave now, I can’t spend another moment here or I will never leave.
My heart will always be yours...
Bon-Bon

It wasn’t enough, nothing would ever be enough to leave behind- but Siobhan reached around her neck and took off the silver chain that she had worn every day since she and Vivian had met. She laid it over the note and set her key down. She then made her way quickly down the hall to Jamie’s room. When Siobhan had first started staying the night at Vivian’s a month prior- she had just scratched the surface of Jamie’s love for trains. She had gone a little overboard- even she could admit it- and went out to buy Jamie a toy train that had motorized wheels, a conductor hat with his name inscribed, and last but not least... She set down on his bed a little wooden whistle. His birthday was coming up, and she had made a plan to make it the best one yet... But now she had to make this his goodbye gift. It shattered her heart. With one last look around, she made her way back to the front, locked the door and closed it behind her. She had to get back to Roger before he took it out on the one person she loved in the world.

**
The flat sat in silence for hours, the quiet echoing memories of conversations had within its walls. Not a thing disturbed its quiet nostalgia for hours on end, until the sound of keys jingled in the front door.Jamie who was bursting with energy came stumbling into the room, high on the snacks he had gotten from his key worker at the nursery. Vivian groaned as she entered the living room, flopping her bag down on the sofa.
“Bon-Bon? You here?” She shouted out of habit. Jamie took off towards his room, likely to pick his set of trains to play with. “I could have sworn I saw her car outside-”
“Mama!” Vivian’s thoughts were cut off by Jamie shouting from his room. She turned to face the hallway, waiting to see if her son would come running out. “Mamaaa!” He repeated again. Vivian jogged down the hall into Jamie’s room, expecting to see her son needing help reaching a toy. But instead, she was met with Jamie sitting on his bed with a hat on his head and a toy in his hand she had never seen.
“Jamie? What- Where did you get that, honey?” Jamie brought a wooden tube to his mouth and blew hard on it. The sound pierced Vivan’s ears as she practically flung herself across the bed to grab it from his hands. She flopped down onto her stomach on the mattress, sending Jamie tumbling around beside her. His hat fell to the ground in the midst of the struggle for the whistle. Vivian grabbed it to give it back but then realized Jamie’s name was engraved in the metal plate on the front of the hat. She stared for a minute before turning her focus to Jamie.
“Honey, where did you get this?” Jamie shrugged his shoulders and went back to playing. Vivian pushed herself back up to her feet and ran back out into the living room. She scanned the room for any signs of a break in, any reason for her to feel the concern growing roots in her chest. Her eyes landed on the table in the dining room, and suddenly the concern grew to despair. No, it couldn’t be. It just couldn’t be.
“Oh, Bon-Bon.. No..” She picked up the note with tears in her eyes. “Please, no..” She could practically hear the words being spoken in her brain, the last bit of Siobhan she had left echoing in the walls of her mind. She had left.. She had left again and there was nothing she could do about it. She scanned over the note quickly, gripping the chain in her hand as she landed on the last line.
“Siobhan...