(MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING!!! I would love nothing more than to keep the depictions of Siobhan’s assaults vague, I can’t completely make them invisible. There will be a bit of graphic depiction in here, and it is likely to make some people uncomfortable. I don’t like the idea but for the desperation of leaving to come across right, there has to be a description.)
Siobhan felt like she was walking on cloud nine as she closed the door to Roger’s house behind her. She found herself being quiet as she did so, despite no one being home to shout at her for it. This secret felt sacred, a whisper meant only for her ears and if anyone dared to hear it, the world may shatter around them. Realistically, Siobhan knew that there was nothing she could do about her feelings for Vivian. Not only had she been vehemently against the LGBT community in the past, but she would have hell to pay if she tried to leave Roger. He, much like his associates, had many skeletons on her that they’d be happy to remove the whole closet door to reveal. Still, she couldn’t help but run a finger over her lips, desperate to once again feel the butterflies that erupted in her stomach just moments prior. For once, she felt something, something that wasn’t pain or annoyance. She felt peace.
There was an hour before Roger would be back home- before she had to be a doll again. And as much as she didn’t want to, she knew she had to shower off the smell of Vivian’s perfume, the traces of her touch. There was a part of her that wanted to simply disappear, hide away from the angry man who would no doubt come home and once again hold her down against the sheets she had practically begged him for two years ago. That time felt so far behind her now, a time long before Roger had found the nerve to finally touch her against her will. If she were honest, she couldn’t even place herself as that person anymore. That woman seemed so foolish, naive even. She had fallen into a trap laid out so perfectly for her- so eloquently placed right below her trusting footsteps. She couldn’t quite place when it all shifted, when it had gone from pampering and promises to pressure and force. On what had seemed like a normal day, Roger had come home boiling. Siobhan had been in the kitchen, making dinner like she had every night. She had heard the door slam, but hadn’t expected anything different to come of the night, after all- it never had. But when Roger entered the kitchen, he didn’t even utter a word as he stomped over behind her, pushing her into the counter and bending her over. Siobhan could still remember how it felt when he pulled her hair back hard to expose her neck. The cold of the counter against her stomach as he continually rammed her hips into them. She was bruised for weeks...
“Siobhan.” Roger’s voice cut through Siobhan’s lost train of thought. He was home, when did he get home? She had time- she swore she had time!
“R-Roger, you’re home early.” Siobhan lifted her head to feign annoyance. She needed to convince not only herself, but Roger as well that she wasn’t completely immersed in the thought of Vivian’s hands on her body.
Wait- SHIT! She still smelled like Vivian’s perfume. She felt her lip twitch, cracking the exterior she had put up around her. As much as she hoped he couldn’t see it- Roger caught it. He stepped forward, his hands clasped behind his back as he strode closer and closer. Siobhan swallowed hard, keeping her composure as strong as she could. Roger's footsteps surrounding her body made her twitch every time the heel of his shoe would hit the wood flooring. He stopped behind her, the sound of a sharp inhale filled Siobhan’s ears.
"You've been busy today, hm?" He whispered cruelly into her ear as his dry rough fingers pushed the hair away from her neck. "Who have you been with, Siobhan?" His gravely whisper made Siobhan's stomach turn. His fingers were now laid against her throat, a silent threat to do as he told.
"I had a parent meeting. One of the children is having a ha-" Siobhan choked on her words as Roger yanked backwards against her windpipe. He held her head against his shoulder firmly as he growled into her ear:
"Who. Were. You. With?" Roger spat as he spoke, his voice becoming increasingly more aggravated. Siobhan didn't know how to get out of this, was there a way out? Was there ever going to be a way away from Roger, from his hands against her skin, his breath against her skin?
"I was with a pare-" Roger brought his other hand up to grab the front of Siobhan's shirt.
"You were with that nurse again, weren't you? That divorced useless piece of trash who's son can't 'settle in' to his key workers? Are you a faggot now, Siobhan?" Roger yanked the front of her shirt out, whipping her around to throw her back onto the couch. Siobhan’s eyes filled with tears, despite her desperate protests within herself to not let them fall. “Oh, you are. I’m going to have to remind you what it is you’re made for. You’re a woman, Siobhan. MY woman. You are made to fulfill MY desires.” Roger towered over her as she subconsciously pushed her body further and further into the couch. She had no escape, and while she knew that- her fight or flight instincts were begging her to melt into the cushions somehow.
“Roger-” She choked out, her voice horace and veiled in false confidence.
“You don’t get to speak, bitch.” Roger seethed as he undid his belt buckle. Siobhan’s stomach flipped as her eyes made contact with his hands. The thought of Roger alone made her feel sick, but after having Vivian’s soft touch, her lips on her own- the thought of anyone else touching her was repulsive. The churning in her stomach only intensified when she realized she could no longer try to retain the trauma to their bedroom. Roger was going to ‘fix her’ right there in the living room. The curtains were open, the sun was pouring in still, anyone could have seen. But did Roger care? No. The only thing he cared about was having his way with Siobhan, whether her body protested at all costs or not. She clenched her eyes closed as he dug his finger into the skin against her hips, causing her to cry out. Her pain and fear created no hesitation in the man on top of her.
Siobhan had become unfortunately accustomed to completely blocking out what had become an every day routine, but this time felt different. There was a turning in her stomach, a fire in her chest but it was one that threatened to consume her whole. She was certain she could take a life of being Roger’s doll, certain she could handle dissociating while he got what he wanted but something had clicked that day, and she knew somewhere deep in her bones that this life would kill her if she stayed like this- stayed pinned under Roger’s weight. She could feel the cushion’s of the couch under her hands as she gripped into them. As she felt her dignity slip away she could hear Roger mumbling about ‘reminding her what a woman is’ and ‘a woman belongs to a man’. He was convinced that with every thrust that he was making her forget about Vivian. But-... Instead of forgetting, every wince she made- every cry she swallowed back... they all made her want to be back in Vivian’s arms. She needed to be there, she had to be there.
She had lost herself in the thought of a life with Vivian, enough to not even notice when Roger had finished with her. He didn’t care to stick around, not even to cover Siobhan back up- give her even a shred of decency. No, instead he took off for his study, to drink away his anger before he would try to come back again. Thankfully, if he drank hard enough he’d fall asleep before he could come for her again. She laid there silently with herself, just her heartbeat filling the soundless static surrounding her. Her fingers were still gripping the fabric, her knuckles long past white- yet her expression was no longer fearful. Instead it was blank, a match to the empty feeling that had taken over her exposed body, but she couldn’t bring herself to let go of the cushion beneath her.
That was until her phone rang. It was Reece, Siobhan rolled her eyes as she released her grip on the fabric to answer her phone.
“Reece, this had better be goo-”
“Siobhan- It’s Autumn, please- please get here now!”
(Okay so I know I know this is sad and short but chapter 3 focuses on the accident in the later half of AUK. SO IF YOU HAVENT READ MY OTHER TWO STORIES IN THIS UNIVERSE YOU NEED TO!!! This story will not make sense without them!!!!)
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It's Code For You (Parallel NurseryVerse Series)
Fiksi Penggemar"Roger has been at Siobhan's throat for years now, every day another chance at a tipping point. When tensions hit the fan- the Knight family at each other's throats, where do we find our quiet blonde? Where will Siobhan find solace? Will she ever es...
