Crazy In Love (Crushing Hard Series Book 1)

Dear Diary:01/10/2012

17:00pm

Today was Senior Prize Giving, and wow, talk about an emotional rollercoaster! I don’t know why I wasn’t prepared for the absolute tear-fest it turned into. The school hall was packed like sardines in a tin, and it all started out super formal, just like every other assembly we've had for the past five years. But this time? This time, there was a weight in the air, thick and heavy, like we were all just waiting for the axe to drop. It was our last official day of being needed at school. After today, we’re basically ghosts, only coming back to haunt the place for exams. No more classes, no more dragging myself out of bed for morning registration, and definitely no more pretending to care about group projects. And that realization? It hit me like a truck.

I got awards for English and Art, which was amazing, but as I stood up there accepting them, it felt hollow. Like, yeah, cool, here’s my certificate, but also… what now? They announced the new prefects for next year, the ones who would be taking over from us. It felt like being replaced, like we were yesterday's news. It made me so sad. It was the official passing of the torch. I swear, it was like someone had ripped the last page out of my high school diary, and I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. Not even close.

I wasn't the only one feeling it. Half of us were in tears by the end of the assembly, and I definitely wasn’t immune. I mean, I was bawling. Not just a little cute tear or two—full-on crying. I was looking around at everyone, at the teachers, at the hall we’d practically lived in for the last five years, and all I could think was, This is it. This is the end.

But then the grade 11s stepped in to lighten the mood with their version of an award ceremony, and honestly, it was hilarious. They gave out these ridiculous awards, like "Best Hair" (which went to Caitlin because, let’s be real, her hair is flawless), "Most Stylish" (Buhle, of course—she could wear a potato sack and still make it look like couture), and "Best Smile" (Cassandra, whose smile is like sunshine bottled up). Mzi got "Best Laugh," which he completely deserved. His laugh is one of those laughs that just makes everyone around him crack up too, even if they have no idea what’s funny.

Then came the spicy ones. "Hottest Rugby Player"? I wasn’t mad at the winner—Scott. Duh. "Best Glow Up"? Amy, of course. She went from shy, quiet Amy to full-blown queen status this year. And then... "Heartthrob of the Year." Surprise, surprise, it went to Scott. As soon as his name was called, I screamed like I was at a Beyoncé concert. I mean, it’s my boyfriend, what was I supposed to do? His face turned bright pink, and I could tell he was both embarrassed and secretly loving it.

And then came the big one—Scott and I won "Cutest Couple." It felt like a scene straight out of a rom-com. As soon as our names were announced, the entire hall exploded. People were cheering so loudly I thought the roof was going to come down. We went up to accept the award, and that’s when Scott did something completely unexpected. He dipped me, right there in front of the whole school,  and kissed me. Like, a full-on kiss.

The crowd went absolutely wild. It was like something out of a cheesy high school movie, but honestly, I didn’t care. It was one of those moments you just live in because it’s too perfect to question. For a second, everything else faded away. I let myself forget about how he's been a little distant. I let myself forget that I was a little anxious about us. In that moment, it was just us; two crazy in love kids, under those bright, glaring school lights, with our whole grade roaring in approval. If I could bottle that feeling, I would.

After that, the awards just kept coming. No one was left out, which was sweet. It was like the grade 11s wanted to make sure everyone had one last moment of recognition, no matter how silly the award. I even won a third award for "Girl Who Would Break Hearts," which I guess is a compliment, but also a little terrifying? Like, what hearts am I out here breaking?

Anyway, after the assembly, a bunch of us hung around at the tuckshop, talking and laughing, pretending like we weren’t all on the verge of tears again. We were standing there, still buzzing from all the awards and the general madness of the day, when Mr. Parker came by. He walked over and  handed me a burger. After what happened with the snake prank-I should’ve known better.

He said, “This one’s for you, Thandi,” with this glint in his eye that should’ve been a massive red flag. But I was emotional and hungry, so I didn’t think twice. I took the burger, thanked him, and bit into it.

Big mistake.

It was a trap. Inside the bun, instead of a regular burger, there were sour worms. Sour worms. Covered in mayo and tomato sauce. I almost threw up on the spot, while Mr. Parker doubled over in laughter. Everyone around us lost it. He just stood there, grinning like the Cheshire Cat, saying, “I’m gonna miss pranking you, Thandi. You’re way too gullible.”

And that’s when the tears hit me again, but not because of the prank. No, it was because I realized I was really going to miss this. The stupid little pranks, the jokes, the familiar faces. I’m going to miss Mr. Parker and his ridiculous sense of humor. I’m going to miss the tuckshop, the halls, everything.

By the end of the day, I felt like my heart had been wrung out like a sponge. It was this weird mix of happiness and deep, deep sadness. Like, we were all happy, sure, but there was also this underlying grief. Grief for what we were leaving behind. For the people we’d been. For the place that had been our whole world for so long.

As I walked away from the school, I turned back for one last look, and it hit me all over again. This was it. The end of an era. And I wasn’t ready for it.