(Flashback)
Noah
Today is the day. I'm finally going the do it. Gonna tell him how I really feel!
We've been hooking up ever since those first couple months that I joined the team. Sure, it might only seem like to sex to some. (That's what Eldon and Hunter says when the found out.) But, I know it's something deeper.
I've worked up the courage to ask him out. Now, to just give him these chocolates, (dairy-free for his lactose intolerant stomach), and hope that he says yes.
James told me to meet him up at the rooftop. A bit of an unusual spot for us. We've smoked together and stuff up there. He was actually how I got into the habit. But, I've told him before that even blowjobs up there is risky.
He's sitting at the ledge when I get up. Smoke blows out if his mouth when he sees me. There's some expression on his face that I can't make out, but I don't think it's bad.
"Hey, um...so I wanted to talk with you." His voice is gruff, a mix of his usual vocals and the dryness from his joint.
"Yeah, me too. I actually got you these." I hand over the box to him and he takes it, but his eyebrows are furrowed. Does he not like them?
"Oh, thanks." His smile is tight lipped as he says this. What is going on?
"So...do you want to go first or? I don't mind doing it. Because if I don't I feel like I'm just gonna blurt it out anyway. And you-"
"I'm straight."
...What? What did he just say?
It's like I've bitten my tongue off. My lips keep opening and closing. A fish gasping for water. But, for once, I can't find anything to say.
What does he mean he's straight?! He's been fucking me in costume closet, on his bed and who knows how many other spaces for almost a year now! Was he just playing me?!
I just...I can't breath.
"I...I don't know what you-"
"It's just...I thought that I might like guys. Cause, you've been one of my best-friends since we were kids. And when you got on the team, that love for you amplified. But, I don't know. I think I mistook it for the wrong kind."
Barely anything he is saying is registering with me. Everything just feels fuzzy.
"I'm sorry, Noah. I never meant to hurt you. Could we...could we still be friends?"
~~~
Noah
"Never meant to hurt me, my fucking ass!" I roar at him. Finn is long gone by now and James has put back on his boxers.
"Noah please. Just listen to me a sec-"
"What? So you can fucking lie to me again? Oh what, was Finn just looking for something in your ass?" It's fucking laughable.
"It's not what it looks like!" Right, as if anyone would believe that.
"What? That you might be a bit of a homosexual? That you might actually be like me and like guys? I would've been fine with you being uncertain all those years ago, but everyone fucking knows that it was a lie!"
Okay, that last part did not mean to slip out. But, he needs to hear it.
"I, uh....what? What do you-"
"What I mean is that even after you broke off what we were doing, you weren't exactly being the straightest person, James! Yeah, most guys who are telling everyone they're straight don't continue to actually flirt with their friends." Do I need to spell it out for him?
"I wasn't! It wasn't my fault that you got the wrong idea!" He lies to me.
"Both of us know that that is complete bullshit. You can try to act victim James, but I will not be made into a fool that was too hopeful and making up that you lead me on!
"It's not like I was the only one you were doing it to. The amount of guys we caught you checking out while on group trips. Or all those times we found you kissing or doing more with older men at bars. Claiming that you were "drunk" and "not thinking straight."
He doesn't say anything after that. Good, maybe he's finally realising how much he hurt me for once.
"Do you know how painful it was being around you after that? With you acting like we were just normal again. I kept up the facade because you had been one of my best-friends since I was fucking 5! And I did not want to give up that connection.
"But you...you fucked it up that day at my birthday party by kissing me! I hadn't even realised myself at that point that I might also like guys. You helped me figure that out, all for you to then turn around and try to act like I was the one that come onto you!
"You claimed to be my fucking friend, and I wanted to still believe that. But, it felt like you were being as bad as any other homophobic prick that walked into this place though."
Silence, just complete silence. The fucker can't even look me in the eyes anymore.
"Hm...maybe that's why I ended up getting with Abi that Winter."
Now that...that makes him look up. His eyes are bulging. Almost fearful. His lips are trembling, and biceps flexing.
Still, he owns up to nothing.
"Typical" I mutter, before heading out.
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To Catch Your Fall | Heathoah
FanficNothing ever seemed to go right in Noah's life. Even including getting the job of his dreams. Becoming Head Choreographer of The Next Step was supposed to mean big things for his career. Instead, he feels as if he's a therapist for anyone in drama t...
