To Catch Your Fall | Heathoah

36. Why I Dance

TW: Hints at poor mental health/anger issues

Heath

At times like this I wonder why I even contemplate going to therapy.

I got into dance in the first place because my dad suggested it would be a good way to let out all my anger. At first, I didn't see why. It's not like a 4-year-old me would've realised that most kids don't bash another one's head into concrete for just yelling a dumb comment.

Then it became a form of escape. It was like any problem I had could just go to the back of my mind for a moment when I was moving. That became less and less as the years and issues went on, but being here has reminded me of that.

So much shit has happened ever since he...whatever. Maybe that's why I stopped seeing dance this way. Because he clearly wasn't the best person to give out mental health advice.

But, being the male soloist at Nationals of all competitions is something I've dreamed of since being a kid, and dancing in-front of this crowd and those judges...it's one of the happiest memories I've ever had!

A huge round of applause goes around as I finish. I actually have to wipe a few tears away. Giving a quick bow, I rush back off to the wings before I get too emotional.

My opponent for this round is up now, so I'm able to talk to the team for a few minutes. There are a few pats on the back, hugs, screams of excitement, and even Ethan congratulates me on doing a good job. Despite him wanting the solo himself.

This, this is the support I wanted from the DanceMania team. I group of people I actually like being around and know care about me. (Plus Winnie)

For a few seconds, I have my arms wrapped around Izzy. Seeing a chance, I give them a questioning look. This is the most they've interacted with me at all in the last couple weeks. I don't know what's going on, but they're clearly hurting.

They pull away from me though without a word, and I have no time to think about it before an arm wraps around my shoulder.

"I knew you could do it." Noah smiles at me.

"Eh, don't celebrate just yet. We don't know if we've gone through."

"Hm, yeah okay." He says in a tone that shows he think differently. Well, if someone as anxious as him even thinks I've won, then maybe I really do got this.

I go to thank him for the compliment, but his eyes are on someone ahead of us. For a minute, I think I know why. It's Lucien, the Studio-Head of Elite, our rival studio, and a general pain in the ass.

This is Noah's first competition leading us, so he'll probably have sone confrontation with him. I say Emily can handle him though.

But, then I realise, he's not looking at Lucien. His eyes are looked on the blonde girl next to him. And she is staring right back. With a devilish smirk on her face.

Who is she?