To Catch Your Fall | Heathoah

38. Finding Him

TW: Suicide, panic attack

Heath

Why did I do that? Why did I just let him run away after he confessed what was probably the most traumatising moment of his entire life! 

It's just...I thought Nick was the only time that had ever happened. That at-least he failed and Noah didn't have to live with that. But no, he understands what it's like more than anyone.

The image of my mom kept playing through my mind as he spoke. But, instead of doing it to me this time, it was Noah that she was forcing!

I need to go after him. He is clearly not in the best mental right now and I did not help. I can't...I can't let one more person I love go through this...

~~~

(Flashback)

Heath

Fucking bitch! Why the fuck would she do that?! Sleeping with Oswald of all people?! It's not bad enough that he bullies me everyday, but the fact he also didn't support Izzy!

I just can't with Winnie right now. This shows when I accidently slam the front door open when I get home. Usually, I'd expect mom to come out and either shout or hit me for doing that.

But...nobody comes. That's weird. 

"Mom? Dad? You home?" I call out, only to get nothing in response. Hm, mom has to work late sometimes, but I thought that had the day off?

As I walk through the halls of the house, I don't catch sight of either of them. Not a thing really catches my eye, until I go past the bathroom. 

I only even notice it when I step on the water and almost pull something in my leg when I fall over from it. With a bit of a groan, I get back up. Did somebody spill something?

No, I can see now that it is coming out of the room itself, and it isn't stopping anytime soon. For fuck sake! Mom must have forgotten to turn off the tap again. 

That the second time this month! The bill is gonna be crazy now.

When I got to open the door in order to turn it off, I find that it doesn't budge.

Huh?

"Dad, are you in there? Why do you still have the tap running?" Maybe he's having a bath. Could be why he didn't hear me. There is some steam creeping up through the cracks too.

He doesn't answer though. There is just silence. Too much silence.

"Did you hear me?" I can feel my heart start to speed up as I ask, some of the words becoming stuttered.

What is he doing in there? Why isn't he answering? Did he fall asleep?

For what feels like hours, I keep talking to him, with nothing in return. Each second that passes by brings another cut to my lungs. I can't breath!

I'm not sure when I started, but my shoulder has been repeatedly hitting into the wood in an attempt to open it. Can't say if the pain going through the bone there or the one caused by my block of airflow is worse.

A wheeze escapes me very time the door budges, but stays put. Please just open! Just fucking op-

My chest hits the ground as I finally burst through. It takes me a moment to realise this has happened. When I do, I find myself getting soaked by the running water all over the floor. 

Pulling myself back up, I rub my head and lift up a foot to look at it. There are a-lot of bubbles here, and I still don't know why. Why would he let it all run? Let it ruin all the floor with this disgusting...red colour...

It is like someone threw an instant freezer in the room at that moment and the water traps my feet. I can't....

Can't move or...look at him. He's laying there. Looking so peaceful in the bath-full of water. I'd almost think he is asleep if I didn't see the jarring, deep, hideous cuts, going all down is arms. 

The only thing I remember before I'm waiting outside his hospital bed is the front door opening and my mother bumping into me as she rushes in...