To Catch Your Fall | Heathoah

37. Ex

TW: Rape, abusive relationship

Noah

"Who was that girl? What's going on?" 

Heath has been asking me stuff like this for the entire day, and I hate how close I am to snapping at him. It was difficult to even focus on Izzy and Pete's duet with him blabbering. 

The two of them got through, thankfully, and I did congratulate them, but it's hard being happy about it. All the team went out to shop around the city for the rest of the day. Sadly, Heath didn't go with them. Instead, he'd rather stay his day in my hotel room pestering me.  

"Would you shut the fuck up?!" I can't take it anymore and roar at him.

I'm not sure what happened after that. My mind has been a blur since yesterday and I'm only able to pick out certain moments. But, I'm eventually towering over him as I have him pinned to one of the walls of the room. Shit shit shit!

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean-" I immediately start rambling when I see how shook up Heath is.

Why the fuck did I react like that?! I know how bad his mom is and then I do something like this?!

I'm a fucking asshole. I-

Every part of me sinks into him when he wraps his arms around my chest. Tears have been falling down from me for who knows how long without with realising. Must be a bit judging from the spots on Heath's shirt. 

"It's okay. I'm fine. It's my fault. I should have let it go."

"No, don't apologize. I shouldn't have done that. You were just looking out for me." I say into his hair.

For a few moments, we just stand there. Hugging. I really need it right now, and I guess Heath knows that. I don't need to be scared with him.

"She's my ex." I suddenly decide to say, breaking the silence.

Slowly, Heath pulls away from me and looks me in the eye, a questioning look on his face. Here we go.

~~~

(Flashback)

Noah

Her lips travel down my neck, hitting a sensitive part that makes me let out a little moan.

"You like that?" Abi whispers. Her voice is a bit odd though.

I was just coming home from practice, when she texted me that her parents weren't home and if I wanted to come over. I didn't get why it mattered if she was alone or not. I've met her parents a good few times and they never seemed to have a problem with me. 

The only people we really have to hide from is our teams. Nobody cares that much about it, but Emily does tend to overreact. And, I'm not sure how she'd react to finding out one of her teammates is dating someone from Elite of all studios. 

Apparently I'm thinking about this too much, since I don't notice her reaching a hand between my legs and going for the waistband of my pants.

"Woah! What are you doing?" I pull away from her.

"Uh going to give you a blowjob? What else?" She says, as if it is so obvious and not a big deal at all.

"Shit, um...sorry Abi, but I don't think I'm really ready for that."

Sure, she's gorgeous and I can definitely see us doing it soon enough. But, after how my last few times having sex turned out, it's gonna take me a bit to be that vulnerable with someone again.

"Well, I am." She crosses her arms.

"Okay, that's good for you. But, we've only been dating a few months and I think we should wait-

The words get ripped out of my mouth when she takes a grip of my wrist. What the? What the fuck is she doing?! 

I try to shove her off, demanding to know what she is doing. But, she's too strong. 

"Abi, let go! I don't like this!"

"Yeah, well I do!" She gives me a full teeth smile as she speaks, like she is showing me who she truly is for the first time, and I don't think I'm going to forget it for the rest of my life.

That's when she begins taking off my clothes and...

...It never stops. It goes on for hours and goes. Each time she drops down on me, squeaking the bed and moaning, I actually hope her parents come back. 

But they never do. I'm just stuck alone with this monster. Like she wanted.

~~~

Noah

"It never really did stop until a few months later. Our entire relationship was like that after that night. I wanted to tell someone then, anyone. But, I thought if I stayed with her, I would eventually learn to like it.

"I know people around the place act like I'm some bisexual whore. But, its the only way I can forget about how she treated me. To finally enjoy sex again."

Heath didn't interrupt me once as I spoke. I was grateful for it at first, but now that I'm finished, he still isn't saying anything.

Looking over to him, I see that he is just staring at me with a blank expression.

"Heath?" Still, nothing.

This was a bad idea. Why did I tell him? Oh fuck, he think I'm pathetic now! I know I am. I can't act like some victim when I let her do all that to me just to get over the heartbreak from James. 

He's smart. He knows I'm making a big deal out of nothing. For all of this year, he's been there for me, but he can't defend me in this.

This was my own problem that I caused. And I've driven him away by telling him.

As I jump to my feet and start rushing out the door, I hear him say something. But, it's too late. 

You fucking idiot!