A MAN TO HEAL

chapter twenty five

POV Suki

Pinned against that wall, I started to travel in different dimensions, my feet can no longer support me, his kisses are intoxicating

His hands roam over my body and I tremor when his palms caress my bare belly shown by my cropped blazer

his tongue caresses mine, I moan under the intensity of this exchange, his mouth savors me with voluptuousness and avidity, as if I were his oxygen, his water and he was about to faint, my heart beats at a wild pace, I feel on the verge of exploding, no one has ever kissed me so well, savored me so well, I feel tingling in my crotch, he makes me lose my mind, I surround his neck with my arms and I let this lively fire consume me

My mini bag falls from my hand cause I can't even hold it anymore

My blood changes into volcano lava, I need more, I need more of him

But then I realize, I can't

I shouldn't be doing that

Not like that at least

Even though we aren't dating for so long or we don't have that magnetic connection, Alessio is still my boyfriend and I shouldn't be doing things like that with Jimin in his back

I'm sure he would be hurt if he finds out I'm doing things like that with another man while we don't even have a week of dating yet

I'm sure he would be hurt just like Jimin was hurt finding out about his fiancée

I don't want to do anything like that while being with Alessio, I need to be sure Jimin wants to be with me at least

I need a confirmation

I need a " please stay with me, I have feelings for you "

I can't guess them if he doesn't confess them

I put my hands on his chest to gently push him away

He doesn't insists, he obeys

We look at each other, our breaths jerky

" Jimin..."

" I'm sorry " he says immediately, his breathing sharp

" I..."

It's hard to speak, so I keep breathing heavily

" I wouldn't have done anything you wouldn't want me to do, I know you belong to someone else now " he adds, his eyes darker

" I..."

I keep saying this, unable to form a proper sentence

He smiles at me, his smile sad

" You are so pure Suki, an angel, you deserve the best in this world and you said he is the best so...go, be happy with him "

My heart skips a beat, no, that's not what I wanted him to say

That's also not what I was about to say

" Jimin..."

" We just promised, it's a goodbye, don't look back, I'm not worth it "

" How can you say something like that ? " I finally say, my voice shaky

" It's a fact I can't deny "

" What did she do to you to lower your self-esteem that much ? " I ask

" It's not about her..."

His tone was sharp, making it clear that this conversation was over

This is what I hate about me, or about him