A MAN TO HEAL

chapter two

POV Suki

My throat goes dry, I'm feeling dizzy, I feel something moving inside my chest and it is more like I'm about to throw up than anything else

My eyes look at Emily, she keeps talking, but I can't catch a word

I just know she looks happy

She has her hand around Jimin's arm, her head leans towards his shoulder happily while she is just complimenting my work for the umpteenth time and praising it to say how talented I am, the most talented person she has ever met...

I feel so shameful and guilt knots my guts

How did I let that happen?

It's been almost three years now since that happened

Three years

But I still remember every single detail that it almost feels like yesterday

That's why I don't understand why he remains so detached, so unfazed, unbothered

Did he actually forget?

Was I really that forgettable?

How does he simply don't want to talk about it ?

It's not like we had to talk about it, after all...we didn't owe each other anything

But still...

I take a deep breath, trying to calm down before my legs decide to give up

I should tell that woman that we're already packed and that I can't get a contract with her

I should tell her anything, any lie, just to get away from this

But I look at her, she seems so enthusiastic and she just wants the best for the most beautiful day of her life

And it happens that I'm unfortunately the best

Lord...what do I do?

What do I say ?

I won't be able to stand the look of disappointment and sadness she would give me if I tell her that I can't be the one for that

I was never able to say no nor to lie

I never wanted to be the one to make people feel disappointed or sad, even though I have to sacrifice my own well-being

I clear my throat

" I was glad to meet you Miss Marshall, but I have to go now, I'm with my colleagues and they will probably wonder where I am, here's my business card, give us a call and we can discuss about what you told me "

" Oh really? " She says, her blue eyes widen with pure happiness

I shake my head vehemently, looking at her instead of looking at the man standing next to her

" Thank you for considering my fiancée's demand, she really wants it to be you " finally says Jimin

His voice sounds like his sentence wasn't complete

As if something was missing

Like, "" she really wants it to be you but it's not my wish ""

I swallow hardly as I turn around to face him

He looks...

How do I describe that?

I throw the idea of trying to describe his pretty face, his full lips, his intense gaze away to focus on the actual situation

" It's simply my job " I reply

I try my best to make sure that my voice sound professional, but I don't like how it sounds in my ears when it comes out