FORCED TO BE PERFECT

CHAPTER 25

Trigger Warning!!! SUICIDAL THOUGHTS...Skip this chapter if you're not comfortable about this topic...And Please Huwag!Huwag gagayahin. Thank you so much.

I woke up feeling blue, Tamad na tamad akong bumangon sa aking Kama.

I fought the erge to cry again, I missed Kian Already. I want to hug me and apologize for leaving him. But I can't face him at the same time. The guilt was eating me.

Naupo lang ako sa sofa, Staring at the blank wall....- Ano ng gagawin ko ngayon?... I'm Lonely and poor . Wala na nga akong mukhang maihaharap sa Mundo ay Dumagdag pa ang problema ko sa pera ngayon.

"How can I pursue my Career if my Dad Already ruined His name" I said outloud.

Ang kanina ko pa pinigigilang luha ay tuluyan nang bumagsak. Ayokong bumalik kay Mommy dahil hindi pa ako handang patawarin siya. I can't apply in any Hospitals to pursue my career dahil sira ang Pangalan namin dahil sa ginawa ni Daddy,  At Damay ako roon.

My life is messed up already.

Tahimik ang buong condo, I was Alone and sad in this fucked up life. Why thus tragedies keep coming to my life?...Wala naba akong karapata'ng maging masaya?.

I keep following orders all my life, I never harmed anybody...So why do I need to suffer like this?. I can feel my world is drifting apart so bad.

Maybe....I don't deserve to be happy because I didn't obey my parents. Yes! I got a chance to lived alone and happy, Pero sa umpisa lang pala iyon.

It was my fault why Kuya Felix died!...I should be the one who's dead now and not him!

I disobeyed my parents. My father is a criminal. Kuya Felix died and that is all because of me.

Pinunasan ko ang mga luhang lumalandas sa mukha ko. Buo na ang desisyon ko ngayon.

I can't deal with my problems anymore.

I ran towards the cabinet kahit na nakaramdam ako ng pag-ikot ng aking paningin. I gathered all the medicines in my Trembling hands.

I am alone so no one can stop me.

I wanted to end my miserable life now dahil hindi ko na makita pa ang Future.

My heart is racing and my heart is Trembling. Tears won't stop from falling from my eyes, Huminga ako ng malalim upang sumagap ng hangin.

"I-I'm S-Sorry Kuya Felix. H-Hindi ko matutupad ang pangarap mo para saakin. I-I wanted to be with you "I cried.

I opened my mouth really wide to swallow all the medicines in my hands. But as soon as the smell of the medicines hits my nose, My stomach started to churned.

Parang biglaang bumaligtad ang sikmura ko kaya nabitawan ko lahat ng gamot na hawak ko. Tumakbo ako ng sobrang bilis habang hawak ang tiyan at bibig ko para makapunta sa lababo.

Pakiramdam ko'y lahat ng kinain ko kagabi ay inilabas ko lahat. Hinang-hina akong habang nakasandal sa lababo.

My head is pounding so hard. And my vision is starting to get blurry. I can also feel the cold sweats from ng neck. Dahan-Dahan akong umupo sa lapag dahil nanlalambot na ang tuhod ko, I was grasping for air and my head is turning.

"Luna!!!" Rinig kong sigaw ng Astra sa sala.

I thought she had a photoshoot?...Bakit andito siya?.

I can also hear curses from Alora. Hanggang sa Unti-unti akong nahiha sa sahig katabi ng mga gamot na dapat ay iinumin ko.

Unti-unting dumilim ang paningin ko at ang huli kong nakita ay ang dalawa kong kaibigan na tumatakbo para daluhan ako.

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