fantasia b.
i didn't think in a million years i'd be stepping on a private jet. she even had her and her kids' initials carved into each seat out of the 4. one was blank, so i was gonna sit there until i got stopped.
"woah, what you doing? this is my son seat. absolutely not." she stopped me before i could even sit down.
"taraji, it's not that serious."
"it is that serious. no, sit on the couch... next to me." she smirked.
"im not sitting anywhere near you."
"whatever. winter, you wanna lay down or sit out here?"
"lay down. im sleepy now."
"alright, come on."
i sat in the seat as soon as she left. bryce isn't even big enough to sit by himself yet anyway. this thing looks like an apartment. it has everything you would need or want.
"alright, the hbic is back, and why are you in– forget it. aye, jerry take off." she shouted upfront then came to sit across from me.
"on it."
"how much was this thing?"
"two point five." my mouth dropped.
"million?"
"yes. its not a lot if you think about it."
"not a lot? you're insane if you think that's anywhere near a small price."
"enough of that. let's talk about you."
"i don't wanna talk to you about me or anything else."
"why not?"
"i don't wa– im not even supposed to be anywhere near you, let alone be on this jet. if it had not been for bryce, you'd be dead to me."
"shit i ain't mad at you for that. you had me locked up, and im not mad at you. i couldn't be mad because i knew what my actions could or would lead to. i have kids to think about before i choose to do something that's gon keep me away from them again. i reacted in a cruel way, and that came with consequences that i ain't got no problem with, but once my kids start to feel hurt or sad by some shit i did then that's my job to change and do better by them. if i just so happen to you know... go back to jail. its in fact behind one or all three of mine. other than that, im cool on a lot of shit now."
"i heard all of this before, taraji. ive tried to convince myself that you would change. when the days were good, they were beautiful actually, but once that other side of you comes out, there's no telling what's gonna happen. like how you just said you didn't have a problem with the consequences..."
"i didn't until i saw how me being away made my kids feel."
"without the kids. that wouldn't be a problem for you because you already know the consequences of abusing someone. you wouldn't sit and think about how it would make me feel since im the one going through it?"
"i wouldn't at first, but then it would hit me later down the line. i knew it was fucked up and i knew i had no right to be upset about you getting me locked up. you needed yo space away from me, and i let you have that. you didn't deserve that nor me. still don't."
"so why am i here?"
"our son is here. that's why. if it had not been for him, we would never see each other again. i wasn't gonna do no crazy shit tryna find out where and who you with. i wasnt gon put you through that again, and im sorry that i did in the first place. im not asking for forgiveness because those things aren't so easy to get over, but i just wanted to say that."
