We Can't Go Back

I Loved Her

She half expected him to be gone in the morning. She half expected him to pretend that nothing happened. Instead, she woke up to him drawing patterns on the bare skin of her back. She lost track of time in the few seconds between sleep and wake and expected to open her eyes to find their old apartment in Brooklyn.

She expected to open her eyes and see a young and carefree Bucky who was softly waking her up because he was secretly trying to convince her to make breakfast.

However, when she really woke up, she realized the reality of their situation. This wasn't the 40s and they weren't young and carefree. She also found that she didn't care. This life they had was challenging but somehow they found each other again and that was beautiful. Their story was always beautiful to her but watching what they endured and still choosing to love each other was really something to marvel at.

"Good morning, love," she said as she looked up in to his eyes.

He was so beautiful to her. He was lying on his side smiling down softly at her. His hair was longer than she had ever seen it before. It was different but she loved the long hair as much as she loved the short.

She didn't know what emotions to expect from him but he seemed to be happy. She worried that he would have been skittish after the previous night but he seemed calm. She hadn't seen him this relaxed since his number was called. She wished the world hadn't taken so much from the man she loved more than anything.

She glanced at where his metal arm met the angry flesh of his shoulder and chest and he instantly seized up.

"It doesn't bother me, you know?" She insisted.

He was skeptical for a moment but then chose to believe her. She hadn't been anything but honest since they reunited.

"I know. Was last night..." he trailed off, stealing himself for her answer. "Was last night the same as it was before? I don't remember exactly what it was like in the past. I've had flashes... but never really had a whole picture," he said.

She took a long moment to think about it. As nerve racking as it was waiting for her answer, he appreciated that she was giving it some thought. He didn't want her to try to appease him.

"It was different but not in a better or worse way. We are both different now, both physically and mentally," she admitted.

He knew what she meant. She had teleported them to bed and they both left marks in the bed frame from their enhanced strength. What little he remembered, he didn't remember it being as aggressive as it was. Well, at least the first time through. After they got their initial aggression out, they took their time relearning each other.

"I loved every second of it though," she said with a small smile.

"Me too. My mind doesn't remember but my body seemed to. It was like rereading a book you hadn't read in decades"

Her smile grew and she pushed him to his back and hovered over him.

"Well, I've always loved to reread a good book," she said before kissing him again.

It took a while but they finally managed to find their way out of bed. They went about their day as they normally would. He did the daily chores with the animals while she tended to the garden. It's especially difficult after the heavy rain but they managed.

The only part of their daily routine that changed was the small touches and the gentle kisses. He was always a tactile person and it began manifesting again right in front of her. He always had a hand on her if he was in the same room. Even if they were just reading on the couch, he had to be touching her.