We Can't Go Back

The Ones

Her rehabilitation was slow and infuriating. She forbid Bucky from helping her in that matter because he fluctuated between pushing her too hard and treating her with kid gloves. They both had to agree that him helping her would not be good for either of their mental state.

Thankfully she had plenty of people to help her with physical therapy. Natasha helped her stretch and keep her agility at first before pushing her into the ring again. Pietro and Wanda were the ones that helped her redevelop her powers which was slower than her physical recovery. Wanda had a theory that the serum was focusing on healing which meant her abilities were more dormant. Still, they were patient but tested her limits albeit not as much as Natasha did.

Steve took her running every morning to help build her stamina and she hated every second. She was never a big fan of running but every time she tried to dip out, Steve would give puppy dog eyes with a side of guilt trip and she would give in. Sometimes Sam would join in which was nice because then Steve would keep a normal human pace.

Sam didn't help with physical rehabilitation so much but he insisted that if she wouldn't talk to a therapist, she should at least talk to him. Sam was always easy to talk to and she found that when she started talking, she couldn't stop. She told him everything that she was feeling and her year with Bucky. She even talked about her childhood and the future and everything that scared her. She told Sam things that she hadn't even told Steve or Bucky. Sam just had a way of being the least judgmental person she'd ever met. He also gave pretty damn good advice.

Tony's rehabilitation was working together in the lab. With Banner gone, he desperately needed someone to bounce mad scientist ideas off of. Steve tried to argue against her going back to work but Tony pointed out that the brain was a muscle too and she should exercise that as well. Steve wasn't happy about it but he reluctantly agreed.

And every moment outside of all that, she spent with Bucky. It was different than their time in Ireland. They were so isolated then and she could tell that he struggled with going out. Still, every time she went out the door, she could tell that he desperately wanted to come with. Steve came and visited with him and even Sam stopped by a few times with her as a middle ground.

She convinced him to have Wanda and Pietro over one night for a movie night and it went as well as it could have. She could tell Bucky enjoyed Wanda's company and he even gave some one word responses to Pietro which she thought was progress.

One of the more unpleasant things that she had to do was start putting together Bucky's defense for his pardon. There were files upon files of Hydra data that she had to go through and she hated every second. She found one unlabeled file and when she opened it... let's just say the nightmares she had the days following were for the history books.

She tried to keep it on the down low but eventually Bucky figured out what she was doing.

"Ellie, I really appreciate you doing all of this for me but you're killing yourself," he said.

She had dropped the pretense of hiding her research so now their kitchen table was covered in files and her laptop carried all the digital copies.

"I just... I don't trust a lawyer to be thorough. Even the best lawyer in the world can let things fall through the cracks and I will not let you fall through the cracks," she said.

"Yeah but I can't risk you falling through the cracks in the process," he said. And just like that the dam broke. Bucky is quick to scoop her into his arms. He lifted her so he sat in her seat and she was now curled up in his lap.

"It's so horrible," she sobbed.

"I know, baby," he whispered as he stroked her hair.

"How could someone do that to another person?" She asked.