deep end, cm [ 1 ]

082. new place

Jessica gasps awake, clawing at her throat. She pants, quickly getting up and turning the light on. She leans against the wall while trying to regain control of her breathing.

Jessica looks around the hotel room, checking in the closet, bathroom, and under the bed to ensure her safety. She knows her father's dead, but some other psychopath could always sneak in and try to murder her.

"Okay. Okay, you're fine. You're fine." She whispers to herself as she gets back in bed. "You're safe. You're fine."

+++

Jessica had spent the past few days walking around the city, doing her best to keep her mind off of her father. Her therapist from back home recommended her to one where she lives now. She moved to Seattle, getting as far away from Virginia and Massachusetts as she could. Just being near them made her even more paranoid, knowing the memories were still close by. Honestly, she should've tried moving to Hawaii.

"Okay." Jessica whispers as she gets in bed. "You're just fine. Nobody trying to kill you, nothing's wrong, you're good. You're just... going mentally insane." She sighs.

Getting up, Jessica goes into the closet and grabs a t-shirt. She sighs, holding it up against it, knowing it's cover her since it's Spencer's. She holds the shirt up, inhaling deeply, her heart constricting at the bittersweet familiar smell of Spencer. Tears pool in her eyes as her mind zeroes in on him.

How is he? Is he sleeping? Is he eating actual meals or just snacks? Is he still putting way too much sugar in his coffee? She's sure he is. Jessica sighs, hanging the shirt back up, dismissing her original idea of sleeping with it, it only heightening her pain.

Jessica gets back in bed, lying on her side and clutching the blanket.

"Maybe I should get a cat." She mutters.

+++

Jessica turns the key and opens the door, stepping into the empty apartment, her new apartment. She shuts the door and locks it.

Jessica walks around, glancing over every little thing. It's of course not any different than when she toured it last week, but she just feels like studying it again. Checking in every room, behind every door.

"Home sweet home." She whispers.

+++

It's been two weeks and Jessica got an office job and a diner job to work on the weekends for some extra money.

"They're all house trained, most are pretty sweet right off the bat, but some take some warming up to. Do you have any other pets or kids or anything?" The shelter worker asks. "Some don't like men."

"Hmm? Oh, uh, no. No, no, um... no other pets, no kids." Jessica weakly smiles, it seeming more like a grimace. "And, uh, no... n-no men. Zero men." Her voice grows quiet as pain shoots through her chest. "The cat does need to be okay with being in the apartment alone most of the day. I-I have my job and then a second job that'll take up a few hours over the weekend."

"Of course, yeah." The worker nods.

Jessica meets and pets most of the cats, a large part of her wishing she could take them all, but knowing she needs to decide on one.

"This one's pretty sweet. Loves just about everybody." They walk up to the next cage. Jessica looks in at the fluffy, ginger cat. She softly smiles while the worker opens the cage and takes the cat out, the cat meowing.

"Hi." Jessica whispers, holding her hand out. She lets the cat sniff her hand before she tries to pet it, gently scratching behind its ears.

"Her name's Crookshanks." The worker informs.

"Crook-- like from Harry Potter?" Jessica asks.

"Yep." The worker nods. "I'm surprised, most adults don't know that."

"Oh. I, uh, I was in high school and college when the first few books came out. Reading was my greatest escape from reality." Jessica weakly laughs.

"Here." The worker gives the cat to Jessica.

"Hi, sweetie." Jessica coos, petting the cat. "Hi." The cat rests her paw on Jessica's shoulder, purring the longer she gets pet.

"Well, she definitely likes you." The worker smiles.

"Yeah. Yeah, hi." Jessica mumbles.

+++

"Okay. This is your new home." Jessica says, carrying Crookshanks into the apartment. "You'll be here, like... 24/7. Cause you don't usually take cats on walks, you know? I mean, I could, but why make you walk around a loud, busy city where somebody could easily step on your tail, I mean, that's just... that'd be so cruel if somebody did that, you know? And-- and-- I mean, I guess I could get one of those cat carrier things and carry you around the city, but then you don't see anything? But, ooh, hey, maybe they make cat strollers. Those are a thing, right? Everything's a thing."

Jessica lets out a deep breath, petting Crookshanks as leans against the counter.

"And now I'm talking to my cat like she's a person. Great. Totally not going insane." Jessica mutters. Crookshanks meows. "Sorry. That-- that was mean. You deserve to be talked too as well. You're not some stupid knick knack. You're a living, breathing creature with ears and feelings. I love talking to you. But, talking to you or not talking to you, I am losing it." Crookshanks meows. "Yeah. Yeah, I am." She nods.

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writing angst is fun, but writing them apart is not 😔

i'm sorry these are so short and lowkey suck, but jess has her own little protector now that she's alone