deep end, cm [ 1 ]

083. missed chances

Jessica has been in Seattle for two and a half months now. She has finally started to get her night terrors under control and therapy is beginning to help. She talks to her co-workers and occasionally goes out for drinks with them, but spends most of her time at home with Crookshanks. She'd probably go out more if going out with them didn't remind her of going out with BAU team.

Meanwhile, Spencer still buries himself in work. It got so bad and he was so sleep deprived that Hotch once made him take a week off, threatening suspension if he didn't listen. Now back, Spencer still keeps himself extra busy, but manages to be not busy enough to have Hotch always breathing down his neck in concern.

Jessica is currently at work and on her lunch break. 

"So, Jessica, do you have any siblings?" One of her co-workers, Amanda, asks her.

"Hmm? Oh, uh... no. No, no siblings." Jessica lies with a forced smile. The last thing she needs to get into is her actual backstory. She's sure these people would look at her like she's a freak... or they'd stare at her with pity for the rest of her life, or both.

"Mm. Was that fun?" One of her other co-workers asks.

"Uh... it had its moments." Jessica says.

"Mm. We're going out for drinks later? Do you wanna come?" Samantha asks.

"Uh..." Jessica hesitates. Before she can answer, her phone starts ringing. "Excuse me. Sorry." She walks the short distance to her desk and grabs her phone.

Jessica's body freezes when the familiar name flashes across the screen. Her breath hitches, her eyes water, and her blood runs cold. She harshly swallows as she reads the name that she used to love uttering so much, but now leaves a bitter taste in her mouth.

They haven't talked in months, why would he be calling her now? She runs through the possibilities in her head. What if he wants to yell at her? She'd deserve that. What if somebody dies and he has to break the news?

She's already had to avoid all of Penelope's calls and the few that the others have sent, but they gave up much sooner than the sweet, bubbly blonde. But Spencer's never tried, even once, to call her. Never texted her, emailed her, sent a letter, nothing. So why now?

Jessica's thumb hovers over the answer button, the ringing echoing in her head as she zones out.

"Are you gonna get it?" Adam's voice knocks Jessica out of her state.

"Uh..." Jessica hesitates. After a short moment, her thumb moves over and she hits the decline button. "No. No, it-- it was nothing. Just... spam." She says, clearing her throat and fixing her appearance. She puts her phone on silent and places it in the top drawer.

"So? Drinks?" Amanda asks.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm up for some drinks." Jessica nods.

+++

Spencer stands in the lab, his cough getting worse. He just hung up on Penelope after recording a message for his mother. He lets out a shaky breath, going through his contacts.

He finds the one he wants, his thumb resting on the call button, debating if he really should. Harshly swallowing and deciding to bite the bullet, Spencer presses on the button. His hand shakes slightly as he raises the phone to his ear.

He waits with baited breath as the phone rings, growing more anxious by the second. His chest aches with both pain and relief when it goes to voicemail.

"Hi, this is Jessica. I can't get to the phone right now, but I'll try to get back to you. Bye."

Spencer's shoulders slump at the sound of her voice. A voice he hasn't heard in months. And the last couple of months he did hear it, it was always etched with sadness and fear. It held a broken tone. It's nice to hear her sound okay, even if it's a few years old.