deep end, cm [ 1 ]

088. endings and beginnings

Jessica had ultimately decided to not attend Emily's funeral. She came up with a plethora of reasons, even though none of them seemed good enough and she'll now carry the guilt of not going with her for the rest of her life. But she figures it's just another thing to add to the list.

Instead, she and Jackson had spent the day doing their own thing and Jessica spent most of the day sharing her favorite memories of Emily, allowing herself to grieve in her own way.

"You want me to go to Portland with you?" Jessica asks.

"Yeah. I want you to meet my parents." Jackson says.

"Oh, wow." Jessica mumbles.

"I mean, unless you're not ready for that, then okay." Jackson says. "I mean, I know how stressful meeting the parents can be."

"Yeah, guess you're thankful mine are both dead, huh?" Jessica weakly jokes.

"That-- I don't know how to respond to that." Jackson says.

"Yeah, I know." Jessica mumbles.

"You don't have to decide right now. Think about it." Jackson tells her, pecking her on the lips. "I'm gonna run to the store, get a few things for the trip. Call me if you decide and/or need anything."

"Okay." Jessica nods.

+++

Spencer tries to focus on his work, attempting to ignore Penelope and Hotch as they clean Emily's desk out.

Hotch is emptying out Emily's last drawer, rummaging through the items to see if they're personal or not. He frowns when something drops on the floor, the man picking it up.

"Reid." He calls, standing up, and getting the genius' attention. "Believe this is for you." He holds the envelope out.

Spencer's heart stops when he recognizes the letter he threw away almost two years ago. He immediately recognizes the handwriting, his mind going back to that night his heart was broken.

"She kept it?" He mumbles, frowning. He carefully takes the envelope from a confused Hotch who returns to his task. Spencer stares at the envelope, thinking back to when he had talked to Emily right after Jessica left. He threw out the letter, but she took it out of the trash and kept it.

"Why would she keep it?" Spencer mumbles to himself. He turns the envelope over, finding it sealed shut just like it always has been. He goes to open it, but stops himself. Whether he wants to read it or not, he knows the middle of the work day isn't the appropriate time.

Spencer opens his bottom drawer and stuffs the envelope in there, slamming the drawer shut as his chest aches.

+++

"I always forget biscuits from scratch are a thing." Jessica says as the two walk through the store.

"Are you serious?" Jackson asks with a small laugh.

"Well, I-- I grew up in a Pillsbury family." Jessica defends. "And then foster care and then I was an adult child all on my own and then had a job that barely let me be home. Excuse me for not having many experiences with homemade meals."

"I know, I know, sorry." Jackson says.

"Your mom's a really good cook, though. Like, can she move?" Jessica asks and Jackson laughs.

"Good luck getting her out of Portland." He remarks.

Jessica laughs, the two reaching the end of the aisle. Jessica looks up, her eyes widening when she spots the familiar back of somebody.

"Shit." She hisses, grabbing Jackson and yanking him back into the aisle.

"Whoa, whoa, what?" Jackson whispers.