Faulty Trust || Katie McCabe

32

There was a saying we'd come up with on our first ever Norway trip: "Norway's mountains are pretty, pretty good at holding secrets."

At the time when Seb first came up with it, he was borderline blackout drunk but surprisingly made perfect sense. Basically anything that happened in Norway was never spoken of again to anyone, not even with the people who'd been on the trip. It was the one weekend of the year where nothing mattered, and nothing would ever be spoken of again.

It was better that way.

When I found myself back in London, that familiar ache in my heart appeared, and I didn't know what to do with myself. The weight of events over the weekend pressing against my chest in a heavy manner. My memory was spotty, but Carsen hadn't remembered a thing, or so she said. Either way, it would never be spoken of again.

Nothing happened. Nothing would happen.

Wally had offered to pick me up from the airport when I flew in early Monday morning. London's weather had greeted me with rain and a bit of low fog. A feeling of belonging pulled me deeper into the city as Wally put up with the airport traffic. London had quickly become a place I called home, and not just because I played football there. My teammates had practically become my family over the last few months, and coming back felt like a fresh start with the new year rapidly approaching.

We hadn't been driving for long when Wally mentioned stopping for coffee before dropping me off back at my flat, and that wasn't an offer I would pass up. My flight back to London had me feeling knackered from the travel. Though it was more so because my brain hadn't turned off since I woke up early this morning. I'd constantly been thinking about the mess I was returning to, the silence between Katie and me, the way my heart ached to fix things. It was no secret that I loved her; I just wished she'd realize that and that I wasn't going anywhere no matter how hard she tried to shut me out.

As Wally and I entered the quaint cafe, we ordered our drinks and found a quiet table in the corner next to a window facing the street. I hummed in content at the feeling of being in a place I loved again with the company of my dear best friend. Falling quickly into easy conversation, Wally caught me up on what had been happening around the team, where everybody went, what they're up to, and how she and Leah were doing. It was nice to just sit back and listen to her talk ramble on about the gossip I've missed over the weekend; there was something so simple about it that made me feel at ease.

The conversation flipped onto me at one point, as Wally tried her absolute hardest to get any sort of details out of me about my Norway trip. She was unsuccessful, though, and all she learned was that we skied, drank, and had a hell of a good time up in the mountains; that was enough for her to drop it and turn to teasing me about how tired I looked.

When our cups ran dry, neither of us made a move to get up and continue on our journey because time ceased to exist when we got to talking. I could talk to her for hours and hours or simply sit in silence and enjoy her presence. I guess that's what a long-lasting friendship brings you, especially when neither of you are the loudest people. Though my phone buzzed during a lull in our conversation, and I flipped it over checking who had texted while glancing at the time.

It was early in the afternoon, and we'd been nursing our coffees for almost two hours now, meaning we should probably get going. But when I glanced at the text message, my heart almost jumped from my chest. Instead, it pounded against my ribs and sent a chill through my body, catching the attention of Wally, who eyed me carefully.

Katie

Emely can we talk?

I'm sorry

Can we talk? Can we? Could we? Could we even get through a conversation without one of us lashing out or falling apart? I wish I knew the answer; I wish the answer was yes. I swallowed the lump of emotion building in my throat and shoved my phone into my pocket without responding to Katie.