Her reason: Bellamy Blake

Chapter 32

Bellamy

I find Lincoln's body and a huge feeling of guilt sinks in.

I thought this was right? What is wrong with me?

I pick him up trying to keep a straight face and bring him over. I set him down and Octavia starts sobbing

I swallowed hard. Glancing at Melantha her face is blank as she stares down at him. Nothing visible.

Burning Sinclair and Lincoln's bodies hurt to say the least. Raven and Octavia are sobbing, the others have tears falling.

My eyes drift to Melantha once again and her face contorts into pain and she sways for a moment before turning and walking off.

I glance at Octavia and she nods telling me to go. I follow Melantha and look around. She could be anywhere. I walk a little further until I hear heavy breathing. I follow and see her laying on the ground breathing heavily and crying.

I rush forward and pull her close to me. She shakes and shakes. She's had panic attacks before but none this bad. "Breathe, breathe" I whisper and nothing changes. I just hold her.

Her panic attack eventually stopped and now she's sobbing. Leaning against my chest she mumbles things over and over.

"He's gone, he's gone" She says over and over. The first few days aren't as bad but as time passes you realize they're really gone.

"He's gone" Her voice breaks. "I know" I whisper and she chokes on a sob gripping my arm tightly.

She hasn't moved in an hour. She's laying on the bed staring at the ceiling. "I'm sorry" I whisper and she stays quiet. I grab her hand and start caressing it.

"You're everything to me" I mumble and her chest rises and falls fast.

"I don't want to talk" She mumbles and turns on her side away from me. "That's ok" I wait until she falls asleep before I let my eyes drift off.

I'm woken up by rustling and open my eyes to see Melantha walking back and forth running a hand through her hair. "You ok?" My morning voice comes out. Her head shoots up.

"Um, y-yeah. I think so?" I throw my legs over the side of the bed and hold out my hand which she eyes before placing hers in mine.

"You don't have to worry, don't let it eat you up" I say referring to her anxiety which comes out a lot more than usual.

"I'm not worrying" She says and I raise an eyebrow. She bites her lip. "Maybe a little," She says quietly.

"We will be fine" She looks up for a minute before breathing out a deep breath. "You can't promise that" I stare into her eyes trying to see where this is going. She bends closer to me.

"Promise me I won't lose you, I c-can't lose you" "As long as I don't lose you" I lift her hand up and lay a kiss on it. Her eyes flash sadness.

"What?" I ask and she shakes her head.

"Nothing, your hair is a disaster though" She snorts and starts running her hands through my hair. Gosh I love her.

"Don't look at me like that?" She whispers and I look confused. "Like what?" I ask.

"Like I don't know, whatever you're doing needs to stop" She huffs and I chuckle, smiling up at her. "Whatever you want," She smiles.

"Ok if I can't look at you however you most definitely can't look at me like that" I say and stand up looking down at her.

"I just smiled?" "Exactly," She laughs again and I smile wider.

"No laughing either, it's too cute" She rolls her eyes, her cheeks turning red. "Let's go check on the others"

"About time, what were you two doing?" Monty says as we join them. "Sleeping Monty, it's important" Melantha says and I cross my arms a small smile as I watch her.

She's getting back to normal. She will be ok.

"Here's what we are looking at, it will take awhile though. Might have to split up" Raven points to the screen I lean closer, laying a hand on Melantha waist.

"Splitting up is a really bad idea," Melantha says. "We do what we have to," Jasper scoffs.

"We will be fine darling "I looked at Melantha and her eyes widened. "What?" I ask and everyone freezes looking at me.

"You just called Melantha, darling," Jasper points out. "Did not" My face warms.

"You did," Melantha says. "Whatever" I grumble and Melantha pokes my side.

"It's ok sweetheart" I give her a blank stare and she snickers linking her pinky with mine.

"Let's take this down" She mumbles.