Her reason: Bellamy Blake

Chapter 18

"Bell! Jeez wake u-"

I groan as I hear Octavias voice and shove my head farther into the bed.

"Oh"

"Get out O" Bellamy growls out and Octavia laughs.

"Lincoln, come here!" She yells and footsteps are heard and silence is enough of a reaction from Lincoln.

"Have fun kids, not too much fun though" With a thud and a shriek she shuts the door.

"Did you just throw your pillow at her?" I mumble, my face still shoved in my pillow. "Yeah" "Good" I make no movement to get up.

"We probably should get going" "I'm good, Have to rest my frail body" I sarcastically reply. "If I have to get up you do to" "Don't get up then" I say and he rolls his eyes.

Seconds later his face appears close to mine. "Get up" He pokes my cheek and I keep my eyes closed refusing to get up. "Get up" He sings.

"Go away" I mumble and he gets closer as I feel his breath on my face. I've had enough. I move my legs up and kick him hard. I know I succeed when I hear a thump and a curse. I open my eyes to see him glaring at me.

I snicker and sit up rubbing my eyes. "You did all that and you're getting up?" He says angrily. I laugh and he jumps up and then on top of me but light enough to not hurt me.

He positions himself above me, his elbows holding him up. "If you weren't hurt I would hurt you" He says, his face getting closer. I let out a laugh and boop his nose.

"Aww I feel so threatened. It's like a baby bunny holding a knife" He smiles his eyes not leaving mine.

"I forgot to tell you" I hum my eyes glancing at his lips.

I want to kiss him.

"I want to go into Mount Weather as an inside man" I freeze up and my playful mood is gone.

"What?" I say not very pleased. "I'm not going to do it, Clarke told me it was a bad idea" I sat up resulting in him moving up as well as him practically straddling me now.

"You shouldn't have to have Clarke tell you it's a bad idea you idiot" "I'm not doing it" "You thought of it" I poke his chest.

"I'm not doing it" He assures and grabs my hand to stop me from pocking him again. "Promise you won't" "Ok"

"I want to hear it George" A smile slips through his lips. "I promise" he whispers and glances at my lips.

I clear my throat and look at my lap. He can't like me. He can't. I'm not good enough.

"We probably should get ready "I say and he nods, sitting up and holding his hand out helping me off the bed.

"Time to train" "Train?" He asks. "I'm watching Abby, getting back into things" "I'm happy for you" he says genuinely.

"Thanks, you probably have work too" He groans, throwing his head back. "Thanks for reminding me" "Your welcome, that's what I'm for"

"What would I do without you?" He asks and I wink. "Probably die"

"Alright that's enough for today Melantha" "What do I do now?" I ask Abby and she rolls her eyes.

"Something" "You are wise beyond your years Abby" She chuckles and I move to walk outside spotting Lincoin guarding the walls.

"Hey buddy" I say sitting on the spot next to him looking up. "Mel" "So are you one of us now?" I ask and he narrows his eyes.

"Sorry, I've missed a lot, not sure what's changed" "I guess you could say that" He says and I nod. "I'm glad" I smile and he shakes his head amused.

"You and Octavia? How are you two?" I ask and he smiles. "I love her" I let out a little squeal.

"Have you told her?" I ask and he doesn't answer. "Lincoln" I clicked my tongue disappointed.

"Have you told Bellamy how you feel?" He turns the question around. "How I feel?" I ask and he sighs, glancing around before sitting next to me.

"I see the way you two act around each other, I also saw you guys this morning" "That was nothing, I needed somewhere to sleep and he happened to have room"

"Mel I see the way you look at him, not to mention that you seem to hate everyone but him" I scoff and pick at my nails. "It would never work" I mumble, feeling downhearted at the thought.

"Why not?" "You know why, nothing changed." Besides Abby he's the only one who knows about my heart.

"You haven't told him?" "No, and I don't plan to"

"That's not fair for him" He says and as much as I don't want to admit it he's right.

"I'm not telling him," I say. "Do you feel anything Mel?" He asks in a quiet voice. I breathe in deeply.

"No, unless it's pain. There's always that feeling in my stomach, it's like someone stabbing me over and over" I let out. Lincoln is the only person I feel ok with talking about this.

Probably because he doesn't freak out. "Let me help you," He says. "I'm past the point of helping"