Always, Lily

▫️Thirty six

LILITH

I had never panicked as much as I had in the last two hours.

Enzo collapsing right in front of me startled me to the core. I had handled patients before, children to be precise. I could say I had grown used to a few fainting but with Enzo, a grown man, I didn't know how to react right away.

I had called Orion from his room to come help me figure out what we were supposed to do. I doubted he had any pre-existing medical condition, Orion confirming my assumption after he'd brought Enzo in and laid him on one of our couches.

I checked his temperature, he wasn't running a fever. I checked his pupils, there was nothing out of place. The only indication was the paleness of his face and his unmoving body.

I tried almost all the first aid skills I had on me although none of them seemed to work.

Physically, he didn't appear sick so I paced around the living room for minutes wondering what could have gone wrong.

I hadn't even told him that I loved him like I'd planned.

I shook his still face between my palms, hoping that he'd arise from this sudden stillness. He didn't appear that sick for me to take him to hospital so I waited a bit longer, hoping my presumption was not misleading.

Orion and I had tried almost everything and when things didn't seem to be working, I called his brother, his friends and almost everyone I could think of.

Grey and Elle were the first to arrive. I explained to them what had happened and surprisingly, they didn't seem as startled as I was.

Elle calmly assured me that he would up soon. Alonzo had reacted in the same manner but I was still worried sick.

From their responses, I didn't know what it is they knew about Enzo's situation, their only assurance being that he'd be up in half an hour.

Luckily, and to my relief, Enzo had come to some minutes before Reece arrived.

As Grey had suggested, I warmed up the food from last night and offered it to Enzo, still not having spoken to him properly with everyone in the room.

I watched him from the corner till he had eaten almost half of his meal. Silent glances were exchanged between us but not a word was said.

I let the boys look after him as Elle and I went back to the kitchen to tidy up last night's dirty dishes.

"I'm still worried about him," I shared with Elle, as I turned on the tap to begin cleaning.

"It's visible dear, why don't you go talk to him?" She asked softly, passing me a warm look.

"I-I want..." I shook my head and turned to the sink. I couldn't make sense of what I wanted to say.

I wanted to talk to him but I was lacking words. Or maybe that wasn't the only obstacle. I was not ready to hear what he had to say.

What if he'd come to bid me goodbye? I knew the case was almost over so he would be back to his former life anytime from now.

"We tried talking to him this past week." Elle's words caught my attention and I turned to face her fully.

"He said that whatever choice you'd make it would be okay with him but his actions said otherwise."

"He hasn't been eating well, he's stayed awake for days and we couldn't control him. He was adamant about waiting for you even though he was slowly losing himself."

Waiting for me? He didn't despise me?

Elle's revelation brought my thoughts back to our short interaction this morning.