𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒, bllk.

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ 017: TYLENOL DEALER.

✞ 𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 ✞

PROFESSOR NOEL NOA WAS KNOWN FOR his rather difficult lectures that were often very content-heavy. even hyoma had a little trouble following the man's words, barely keeping up. however, it seemed like mythology was your strong point.

you were constantly participating in class, raising your hand every few minutes to ask a question or make an insightful comment. chigiri gritted his teeth as he felt his headache worsening, and you immediately took notice of your best friend's body language.

"psst." you nudged him discreetly, and he looked down, taking notice of the bottle of acetaminophen. you forced it into asami's hand, and she sent you a wobbly smile.

chigiri mentally upgraded your status, putting you in the tolerable category rather than the insupportable one. it seems like you weren't THAT bad afterall. though, he didn't like you any more. he also felt like he fed your ego with his earlier comment.

"you have a heart of gold." was what he said. you were a good friend to asami, that's all there was to it. deep inside, he still didn't approve of the friendship. what if helping him—or rather, his sister—was a way for you to feel better about yourself?

he groaned as his headache intensified from all the mental gymnastics, making him swallow two pills dry. he was just overthinking; from the short amount of time he spent with you, he could tell that you weren't that type of person. fortunately.

suddenly, a horrified gasp echoed in the lecture hall, making everyone who was close enough rotate in their seat to face the culprit. chigiri whipped his head, staring directly into his left seat neighbour's eyes. the boy, who was none other than alexis ness, had comically wide eyes.

"is there a problem?" kunigami asked in a low voice from the seat behind chigiri, trying to avoid interrupting the professor.
"y-you..." ness stammered as he pointed a finger at chigiri, visibly shaken. "you just took drugs!"

"huh?" you almost jumped in fright because of asami's tone. her voice's tone dropped significantly, almost making her sound like her brother. you've never seen her get this riled up.

"and you took two of 'em! god, you're gonna overdose." the boy started panicking, but kaiser was quick to elbow him in the guts, muttering something to him in german. if chigiri had to guess, blondie probably asked his lackey what the hell he was doing.

"those weren't drugs, shitstain. they were tylenols." hyoma pushed his long hair back, offended that ness would come to this conclusion.
"OPIOIDS?" he hissed, attracting even more attention to the scene.
"ty-le-nols." kaiser repeated chigiri's words slowly under his breath, eager to get the misunderstanding over with.

"then- then, why would you swallow them without water?"
"who the hell cares? just shut up and listen like the good little doggie that you are." isagi threw a paper ball at him, urging him to look ahead, where a clueless noel noa was still lecturing monotonously.

your jaw dropped at isagi's total change of behaviour, mildly concerned since you were sandwiched between him and chi at the moment. you kept swinging your head left to right, witnessing isagi and ness go at it with asami throwing out some occasionally foul words. that was until ness found a way to include you, that is.

"pain killers are still a drug, and you were the one who handed it out to him." he accused you, and your brow twitched in anger.
"who do you think you are, calling my best friend a man? chi ain't a 'he', she's a 'she'!"

"...huh?" ness was now the one confused. he was not understanding what you were so angry at.

"i know that she has changed a lot since last semester," you started, a scowl on your pretty face, "it's not like i haven't noticed her jawline. but it's because she started using gua sha! now look at the results of her consistency, her jaw is probably stronger than a nutcracker."

"y/n, you don't need to defend—"
"chi, let me handle this. this boy needs to know." you shushed her gently, before addressing ness again. "and look! i get it, 'sami's thighs are like, what? three times the size that they used to be?"

"i can attest to this statement." isagi pointed a finger to himself, but he was quick to shut up when hiori kicked his chair.

"and her feet practically wipe the floor instead of the janitor, now," you continued.
"oh...that's not—"

"and—and her abs, oh my days, i could cook a whole meal on it!"
"okay, we get it." chigiri waved you off bashfully, desperately wanting you finish your speech, lash out on ness and pepper-spray him.

"anyways, point is," you crouched over asami to flick ness' forehead, "give my GIRL friend the respect that she deserves."

the boy only gulped in response, but a nudge from kaiser was enough to make him bop his head up and down frantically.

hiori was barely stifling his laughter when you took a copy of 'the second sex' by simone de beauvoir out of your bag, pushing it to the german's chest. before he could even ask what about it, you threatened him to read it, insisting that it'll help him understand why he was in the wrong. you then got up from your seat, rambling excitedly about its content in a hushed tone.

"why does she carry that brick around in her shoulder bag?" otoya eyed the abnormally large book. it could be easily mistaken for a dictionary. simultaneously, he opened his notes app, writing the name down for later purposes.

"should we tell her that ness always confuses gendered pronouns in japanese?" kunigami whispered in his friend's ear.

isagi arched a brow, drinking the scene in. his gaze lowered to your bare thighs, the white miniskirt leaving nothing to the imagination. he unconsciously licked his lips, manspreading in his seat.

"nah. let her run wild."

✞ 𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 ✞

i missed writing for this book😓

even though ness misheard chigiri and understood opioids instead of tylenols, tylenols do contain opioid medication!! ugh, i love-hate chemistry.