Now I know what it feels like to be a third wheel …
During the entire period I watch Courtney and Michael make kissy faces, and talk about how they could never be separated from each other, and so forth and so on … Is this how I must have appeared to everyone else with James? I shake the thought out of my head and get to work; I don’t want another down fall with my grades like the last few days if I want to get any scholarships. But who am I kidding? This guy has wrong written all over him and he’s like a disease that Courtney’s about to catch if she doesn’t watch her step. I can see the lies that are being told to her and I want to be like a shield jumping in front of her to protect her from them. I see her situation as if I stayed with James after all the bad things he has done to me. If I were to stay I would pile up on all his filth and be intoxicated with these lies and live them out as he did. If I step around all the wrong that I see I mind as well be telling them to die because sin leads to death. Even though I see my arms outstretched grabbing her in love with the truth it’ll be like an unpleasant taste to her taste buds and quickly spitting it out only because sin has taken her over. I see similarities to how my father was before he knew God so maybe the same anecdote he got I can give to Courtney?
The bell rung and I’ve gotten a lot done; I turn in my work and wait outside the classroom door’s for Courtney. I see her walk out with her new boo and I say, “Hey Court can we talk?” Her eyes looked a bit shifty and with a questioning look she said “Uh … Okay?” She detached her hands from Michael and he patiently waited a few feet away from where we were.
“I really want you to come to Church with me this Sunday.” I say. I wanted her to fist buy into the idea of going to Church because if I were to unravel all my thoughts and feelings she wouldn’t understand unless she started from the beginning and work her way up. It wouldn’t make sense for me to start on Romans 6:23 when she doesn’t know Genesis 1:1. When I tell her this she gives me odd glare.
“No promises …” Is all she says before she leaves, I walk the opposite way to my next class. I think I’m doing better than I thought with moving on from the break up with James and me. I am able to focus on the things that I care about and do even better since I have more time on my hands. Now I can focus on school and Courtney getting to know the true Hero that saved us all and enjoy what it’s like being single.
It was really kind of how my third hour teacher gave me another chance for finish my quiz. Some teacher’s I know would have just given me the grade I deserved if I stormed out of their room after they have called me to come back. When he handed my test back to me to take it again I wanted to explain myself but then again I would feel in my skin. I wanted to tell him I was just having a bad day, and that it wasn’t personal … but the words never came out … and so I thanked him and went back to my seat.
I sat in my usual seat and I spot a yellow envelope on my desk. I examine it before picking it up to read it, I wonder who could it be from and my mind goes immediately to James … maybe an apology? Am I ready for this? I ask myself. I slip my nail through the seal and slice it open, in the corner of my eye I can see James looking at me but I ignore it. I pull out a white card that has the words “I’m Sorry” in graphic letters. For a moment I don’t breathe until I know who it is from. I open up the folded card and it says:
Hey, Ava I know we haven’t talked in awhile and I heard what happened last week. I’m not sure if this means anything to you but I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you … we don’t have to be friends or anything … if you need a shoulder to cry on I’ll always be here from you ..
Sincerely (An old friend), Guiana.
I put the note back into the envelope and breathe out. It was a not from a Guiana I girl I use to be friends with. We haven’t talked ever since middle school after I had turned over to Christ. This was unexpecting but quite generous, after class I write a thank you note to her and left it in her locker.
I walk to my table at lunch and only see Vivia. I come up to the table and Vivia shoots me a grin and I smile at her back.
“Hey.” I say taking a seat next to her where Courtney usual is.
“Hey, have you seen Court?” She asks me questioningly.
“No …” I say searching around for her and spot her at a table with Michael. Vivia catches were I’m looking and she sees them together as well.
“Is that the new kid she’s with?” Vivia asks puzzled.
“Yeah … and her boyfriend.” I say.
“Oh …Has she introduced you to him?”
“No.” I say sadly.
**
I make it home to hear the results of my mother’s test to see if the cancer has come back, which she has to do every month for 2 years.
I find my mother in the kitchen making dinner.
“Hey mom, I’m home.” I say putting down my school bag.
“Hey, how was school.” She says turn just her head to see me.
“Better. How were the test results?” I say getting to it already.
“It hasn’t come back.” She says singing in joy.
“That’s great!” I say hugging her.
**
After studying I went online to change my status on FaceBook with another bible verse of the month:
“And if you faithfully obey the voice of the Lord your God, being careful to do all his commandments that I command you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations of the earth. And all these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you, if you obey the voice of the Lord your God. Blessed shall you be in the city, and blessed shall you be in the field. Blessed shall be the fruit of your womb and the fruit of your ground and the fruit of your cattle, the increase of your herds and the young of your flock. Blessed shall be your basket and your kneading bowl. Blessed shall you be when you come in, and blessed shall you be when you go out. Deuteronomy 28:1-6
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SpiritualIt's not safe out there it'll never be. Every day is a fight to do the right thing. God has given us his laws, history, answers, and the truth. You know what I'm talking about. We call it the bible. I don't know what you believe in, and I'm not goin...
