jar of hearts (a poetry story)

the man who i thought was going to be my man

truth is,
i want who i want,

but,
i fought for it because it was satisfaction knowing i had the man i wanted

the only man i ever wanted,
was you

i played around with your buffoonery because i didn't want to loose you

but now that i think about it,

you were just as selfish as everyone said you were,

your brown eyes full of lies,

the big lips you have filled with gun shots of lies,
all those times i cried for nothing when you had no idea i was hurting

i still am hurting,
but you will never know

i pushed you away,
because i had to

a man like that doesn't deserve someone like me,

and that was the all the closure i needed

memories hurt,
but i remember the disrespect
and get disgusted all over again,

they can have you,
but not one girl you talking to is like me

i care,
always will,

i just stopped showing it

i feel so far from you,
i am angry with you

but i miss you so much

you couldn't change,
and when you did change

it turned into someone else,

you aren't the same man who once double texted me when i was ignoring him

you aren't the same man who once put effort in,

i guess i was just added to this list of yours,

i am not an option,
and therefore

i will not be apart of your life anymore,

i don't which hurts the most,
not being in your life anymore

or the

what if it was like how i thought it would be?