Roadtrip // Kubokai

Red Bandages

!Trigger Warning! In this chapter the characters talk about self-harming, and mental health issues. Feel free to skip this chapter if you don't feel comfortable with these topics. 

And also remember to not be afraid to reach for help, if you experience any suicidal or self-harming thoughts. You deserve to be happy <3

In the evening, the boys managed to get back to the city center. Before coming back to the hotel, they stopped at a restaurant to eat dinner. This time, they chose an American diner. 

"I doubt I'll ever see the U.S, so at least I want to try their food while I'm traveling" Kaidou sighed and looked out of the window. His gaze followed every passing car. Meanwhile Kuboyasu couldn't stop staring at his boyfriend. Usually when he was doing that, he was admiring every single inch of his face. This time though, he was just thinking about what happened in the morning, and what was going to happen as well. He was still regretting confessing love to Shun. He thought how he rushed it, and was considering if even he, Aren, was ready to say those words.

Maybe I just made a stupid decision in affect, after he took care of me. Maybe I don't even mean it.

He tried to focus his sight on something else, until he just looked down at his fingers and a shaky leg. He really wanted to calm down, before anyone would notice his anxiety, but his pains were fruitless. When his and Kaidou's looks met, he immediately turned his head and announced his need to go to the restroom. After a while, he left the restroom, feeling a little better, but once the food came, he instantly felt nauseous. 

It's safe to say, it wasn't the best time for any of them, considering the fact that it was their last time eating out on this trip. When they were finished, none of them bothered to spend any more time outside. All four of them went back to the hotel. 

Kuboyasu locked their room and then spent another two minutes just starring at the handle. He was trying to prepare for something he could never be fully ready for. 

"Hey umm" his voice cracked immediately. He couldn't see it,  but Kaidou frowned and took a step closer "Can we talk?" 

Shivers went down his spine, when Shun thought about what he was going to be asked about. He was almost sure Kuboyasu wanted to talk about what happened in the morning. It was a big problem, since Kaidou still wasn't sure what to do about it. The fear of facing it was growing so quickly, he was ready to say no. 

"Yeah, sure" he answered instead. He started chewing on his bottom lip, hoping it won't bleed this time. Aren turned to him and came closer. He sat on his bed. Half a minute later, Shun sat right next to him. 

"I'm not sure if we should talk about it but-"

"If it's something uncomfortable to you, we don't have to" Kaidou cut him off immediately, but then was disappointed to see Aren shake his head. 

"No, no I can't do that. It's the best for us both if I just... do it already" 

Shun stopped breathing, or moving. He was terrified. After all he went through with Aren, he had no idea what to expect now. Meanwhile Kuboyasu was trying to find the perfect words to start this conversation. He couldn't even remember when this small thought he had on a rooftop of Mrs Aoki's house, became such a big worry of his. 

"Okay then... tell me" 

Kuboyasu took a very deep breath, and finally spoke. 

"You know, from the first time we met, to this day, not for a single time I had a chance to see you without those red bandages. At first, I obviously thought it was part of your little game and fantasy about... a demon dwelling in your arm? Or something like this. But the time passed, you were still wearing those. Oh, and also the fact that you were wearing them on both of your arms, while you talked about having that demon only in the left one... I think. Anyways, what I'm trying to say, is that it was a little suspicious from the very beginning. But I knew this wasn't my problem and I didn't dare to ask. But even now, on our trip, even at night, you always wear those. I don't know what you're really trying to hide there, but whatever it is... I wish to know. I'm your boyfriend now, and obviously it doesn't mean you should automatically reveal to me every single one of your secrets, but I would just like to know this particular one.