Hold My Hand

Chapter 11: Trying

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

I know the story has moved a little fast. I already killed one of the main characters, but I don't plan on this being a short story.

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The nurse escorted me to the lobby. I was handed some milk for Tommy. They told me to come back whenever I needed it. I nodded, and left the hospital with Timmy and a few bags.

The house felt empty without Millie. I walked to the nursery, laying Timmy in his crib. I sat in the chair in the corner across the room. Keeping my eyes on our son. Watching his little chest rise and fall as he breather. Sometimes squirming in his sleep, and moving his fingers and toes. I smiled when this happened. The only happiness left in this world at the moment.

Someone knocked on the door. Then they stepped in. Harry, Zayn, Liam, and Niall walked in. Walking over to me.

"Sorry about Millie." Liam said. I shrugged, I couldn't do anything. The only think I could and will do was take care of our son.

Niall walked to the crib, and looked down at Timmy. Then turned his attention back to me. Next my mom, father, step father, and my four sisters walked in. Daisy and Phoebe ran over, swinging their little arms around me. I held them close. Taking in all the warmth they brought to me. My mother had tears in her eyes. I walked over to her. We hugged, and I heard her cry.

"Oh my poor Boobear. I'm so sorry." she said.

"It's okay," we both knew that I wasn't okay. Everyone knew. It was clear in my face that I would never get over this. They all accepted it and left me alone, and we sat in the nursery. Lottie held the baby, and she had brought her boyfriend along. They both looked down at the baby. Someday it would be them with their own baby, I just hope nothing went wrong like it did with Millie. I pulled Martin aside to talk to him about Lottie.

"Please be careful with her." I trusted him, but now I don't what to expect from the world. Martin nodded, and we walked back to everyone else. Liam was now holding the baby.

After everyone left I made myself a cup of tea. Then I fell asleep in the chair in the nursery. The next morning the baby started to cry. It was quite without Millie, and it felt lonely. No one to really talk to, Timmy couldn't talk of course.

Millie'a funeral came around, and I had to being Timmy. No one was able to watch him because they would all be at the funeral. It was open casket. I looked at her. She was dressing in the purple dress he gave her. Her brown curly hair laying perfectly on her shoulders. Her bow head band placed in therefor place, and she was wearing her black flats I also gave her.

We stood outside, and we listened to the priest. I felt tears fall down to the ground. Harry patted me on the back, then my mom hugged me. Giving me a kiss on the neck. Timmy was in a stroller, sleeping. I sniffled, as the priest tells stories of Millie.

After the funeral I went straight home. Timmy began to cry, and I just allowed him to. Millie was really gone.

Months had passed sense the funeral. I've tried to get over her death, but nothing seems to work. Timmy continued to grow, and I saw myself and Millie in him. His hair had began to curl like her's, and his eyes had started to change from blue to brown. Yet I saw myself. Just the firm of his face reminded me of myself. Seeing him just made it harder to bit cry over Millie. I finally just gave up. Knowing that I never would get over her, so I would just cry. Or take my anger out somewhere else. Like I punched a tree, but then Timmy began to cry. So I stopped, but that didn't stop me from crying almost everyday.

I frequently dreamed of Millie. They weren't good. It would be situations of where she dyed, and when I woke up instead of her being by my side, she really was gone. I had to let it set in, but that was impossible. No matter how hard I tired, those dreams would constantly appear in my sleep and I would always be reminded of it all.

One night it was a differ net dream. The ground was white, and white mists surrounded me, up to my knees. I looked around, searching for anything familiar. Then, there she was. In a long white bawl gown. I looked at myself. I was in a black tuxedo, and I realized that this was a dream of our wedding. I walked up to the stand Millie stood upon. Grabbing both her hands in mind, I pulled the ring out of my pocket and placed it on my finger.

"Louis, thank you for taking care of our son. Thank you for not blocking him out, he'll need you so much. I love you more than anything, and I'm glad that I had my only child with you. I don't know how I can put it into words of how much you mean to me. It's okay that you never forget me, but don't cry, it's hard watching you cry every night." she kissed my cheek.

"Millie, I will never forget you. I can't always control my tears, but I do promise to help our son grow. Telling him about you, and how wonderful you were. I love you." we kissed, and them everything disappeared. Then I was back in the real world. I looked to the side, and Millie wasn't there. But then I did know where she was.

I sat with my guitar by Timmy's crib. I used to do this with Millie when Timmy was in her stomach. We would sit on the couch and I would sing for him and her. This helped, and I did this everyday so that instead of crying most of the time I would just play the guitar for Timmy.

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