Hold My Hand

Chapter 18: Clear

I sat in bed. Looking up at the ceiling, unable to sleep. Things ran through my mind. The scars on Claire's wrists, the way Millie had treated me in my last dream. What if I could never speak to her again? It was terrifying to think of. Not being able to see her was the worst thought possible. We loved each other, but what if the feeling had disappeared after she died. When sleep finally took over me it wasn't the same. It hasn't been the last few times, but this time I expected it to go back to normal. Millie was back in the emergency room. The nurse was trying to pull Timmy out. Blood was already dripping off the bed, and onto the floor. When Timmy came out it was the bloodiest thing I had ever seen. Blood started to flow out of Millie, and onto the floor. Soaking the sheets. People surrounded her, and I got closer to watch. Millie had passed out, her heart rate increasing. In 5 minutes she was dead. That quickly. It had only taken five minutes for me to lose the love of my life. This just tore me a part inside even more.

Timmy was shaking me. I woke, meeting his worried eyes.

"Dad, maybe you should see a doctor." Timmy said, I sighed, sitting up.

"No, I'm fine. Don't need to freak out, I'll heal over time." I argued.

"Dad, it's been 16 years, and you're not over mom. Go see a doctor."

"Fine," I said. I put some normal clothes on, and drove to the doctors office.

They sat me up on a bed. Examined the normal shit. Like my ears, mouth, nose, heart rate.

"Louis, you seem fine. So what's been bugging you." my doctor asked.

"My son said that I should come and see you. I have dreams with Millie, and it's like she's alive again, and we actually talk. Last night I had a night mare about her death, and the last few dreams have been nightmares. So, maybe I said something or what ever, Timmy just seemed really worried about me." I explained to Dr. Heart.

"It's normal to miss her, but not normally at this extreme." he took a few notes. "So you actually have conversations with Millie?" I nodded my head, then he scribbled a few more notes on his clipboard. "And it's about present day?" I once again nodded again, and this repeated a few more times before the questions got more complicated. "Do you ever feel her after you wake up, like a kiss on the cheek?" I nodded my head. "Does she see what's happening with Timmy, does she watch over you?"

"I guess," I paused. "we both approve of Timmy's girlfriend."

"So she knows about Timmy'a life along with yours?" I nod my head. "Does Timmy ever have dreams about her?"

"Not that I know of, I would think he would tell me. Or at least Claire."

"How graphic are the dreams? Do they seem like she's actually there? Is everything normal?"

"Well, the location can be a little interesting, but our conversations are normal. It's like she's still alive, and everything seems normal. Until I wake up, and have to remind myself that she's no longer alive."

"Louis, I think she's still alive, but in a different way. You can still speak to her but she's not physically there. This happens rarely, and it's usually because of some disease. So, I want you to be examined, and maybe it's just some sort of special bond you two have. But that seems impossible." the doctor escorted me to an examine room. My brain was examined, and I took little tests. The many nurses looked over the tests, and x-rays, all seemed confused. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I just knew that none of the data they had collected added up. Maybe that was a good sign, maybe it meant a night mare for me. My doctor stepped out, he stood before me.

"You don't have any problems, so I guess you just have a close bond with Millie. But I will recommend that you go to a psychiatrist, just to talk to someone about your dreams. They might not understand, but it's probably best that you tell someone. Because it could potentially turn into something, there's no signs but you never really know about anything these days." I nodded my head. "I'll call you about the psychiatrist." I stood up. "Have a good day."