Dylmas/Newtmas One-Shots

Dylmas - My Whole Family Thinks I'm Gay

I don't really think this is a great one-shot but I had to try and base it off of the song chosen...I didn't even know I had this song in my playlist :/
Based on: My Whole Family Thinks I'm Gay by Bo Burnham

Dylan's POV

I had to get out of the house for a while. Everyone was just doing my head in, yet again. Why is it, no matter what I say or do, my while family is adamant that I'm gay? Why can't I just be a very unique, flamboyant boy? They're always jumping to conclusions! They think that they can instantly tell whether a person is gay or not by the way that they walk. I mean, where's the logic behind that?

They were all sat down at the dinner table, talking happily to each other, ready to eat, when I walked in. The minute I sat down the chatter stopped and they just looked at me. It was as though they were waiting for me to make some big announcement. Only I didn't have one. So after a few minutes of awkward silence, my mum cleared her throat.

"So, Dylan." She started, looking at my dad for support. "Do you have anything you'd like to tell us yet?" She asked, almost as though she believed that all if a sudden, after all these years of being asked, I would have realised that I was gay. But I wasn't.

I shook my head, looking down at my plate uncomfortably. Silently, I started to eat my dinner, yet again, just like every meal time, wanting the ground to swallow me up. My family all sat, watching me intently before going back to their conversations from earlier. It was like this every time we sat down at the table.

I wish it could go back to the way it was. Back when I was a young boy, with no cares in the world. I didn't have to worry about whether I like girls or boys, I was just friends with everybody. But ever since I joined high school, my whole family thinks I'm gay.

Just because I'm on the cheerleeading team and like to do gymnastics sometimes after school. It's not my fault, I find it fun and there's so much drama, it's hilarious. And to be honest, I'm better than half of the girls there so why can't I be on the team?

And just because I'm afraid of the snow. I mean, that stuff is freaky. It chooses only one season of the year to come down and take over the world, with it's coldness looming over us. People can die in that stuff, it's that cold! And goodness knows how many germs are soaked into it, so when we touch it we could quite easily become ill, and not just with a cold. I'm not a germaphobe or anything but seriously? How could anyone want to touch and sometimes eat something that people walk all over?

Oh, and just because I once said that my favourite colour was the rainbow. As a joke! My sister asked me some time last year what my favourite colour was but I couldn't decide. I don't like committing myself to something, what if I changed my mind later but I end up stuck with what I originally said? So I said that my favourite colour was the rainbow, since it has almost every colour in it. I couldn't go wrong. Or so I thought...

But oh, no. My family took it to the extreme. Persisting that the rainbow was a sign of embracing your inner gay self. No matter what I told them. So now I just leave them with their own dreams. There's no point arguing with them anyway, they wouldn't listen.

Now my whole family have even started to suspect that watching Spondgebob had it's effects. Which is complete nonsense! Well, at least I believe that. They always ask me why I don't get any girls, and I keep telling them that it's because I'm lanky not because I'm gay. And anyway, I'm already in a long term relationship. They just never bothered to ask me; too caught up in me appa being gay.

Thats another reason why they annoy me when they keep asking these questions. Since I'm in a relationship, I don't appreciate them constantly going on about me not ever being with a girl and them trying everything they can to get me with some random boy, just to prove a point. It's like they don't even think I'm human! I'm supposed to be their son, their brother! Yet they totally disregard my feelings and wishes. But I don't even think that that is the worst of it! There's a lot worse...

Even my boyfriend thinks I'm gay! Ha, shuck! That came out wrong...I meant,  that, urgh this is awkward. I was trying to say that, my boyfriend, Thomas, truly believes that I'm gay. Yes I said boyfriend but that doesn't mean I'm gay. Because, the truth is, I'm actually bisexual. I just never told my family. So technically, I wasn't lying when I said I wasn't gay because I'm not fully gay, I'm half gay. There's a difference. A gay person doesn't find an interest in girls, but I do. It just so happens that I'm dating a boy. But he's so amazing, there's literally nothing about him that I don't like, other than the fact that he too believes I'm gay. He doesn't think that I'm really bisexual, he thinks I only say that so that I don't have to admit defeat to my family. But that's not true. I do find girls attractive, I'm just slightly more attracted to boys is all.

Suddenly, I walked into something. Something thin and tall, and surprisingly familiar. I glanced up to find none other than my beautiful boyfriend, Thomas, stood smirking down at me. I laughed, wrapping my arms around his waist. I quickly pulled him down to my level, stealing a sneaky kiss before letting go and attempting to dodge past him. But he stepped to the side, blocking my way; placing his hands on his hips he gave a pretend disapproving look. I sighed, faking annoyance, acting as though I wanted to get somewhere when the truth was, I had nothing better to do I just wanted to mess about. Though, no matter how hard I tried to get past, Thomas stood in front of me.

"What do you think you're doing?" He asked.

"I dunno." I admitted, "I was bored." Thomas laughed at my ridiculousness before picking me up by the waist. He lifted me up to his height as I wrapped my legs around his middle, like I usually did. We shared a hot make-out before he placed me back down and ran off into the nearby park. I shouted in annoyance, feeling lost without his warmth surrounding me.

I rushed off after him, searching around the park until u spotted him sat on one of the swings in the play area. I went over and sat on his lap, wrapping one arm around his shoulders as I buried my face into his neck. "What did you do that for?" I grumbled. He chuckled softly, and rubbed my back.

"Just getting you back. Maybe I was bored too." He replied, another smirk plastered on his flawless face. I sighed in defeat, and leaned back into his touch. I was happy right now, all the anger that was built up inside if me only minutes ago now disintegrated into nothing. And that was how we stayed for most of the night, just relaxing in the warm summer heat, enjoying each others company.

The end x

Personally, I didn't like this one but I'll put it up anyway.

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