With Hope, the Beginning of Better

Chapter 8: You're Not Alone

Summary:

CWs: grief, panic attacks, hyperventilating, mentions of kidnapping.

Notes:

This chapter is the beginnings of them beginning to heal. Anyway, we're not too far from part two: Demons.

Also, just as a note, updates may be slower just cause I'm so busy rn.

Hope you enjoy!

Jesper

They were out on the expansive jurda fields, inhaling the crisp Zemeni air. Jesper lifted his head up slowly and through his tearful gaze, finally looked into those deep brown eyes.

"Ma..."

"Shh...it's okay, my son."

"No, you don't understand! I messed up so bad. I almost lost the farm...and you. Some excuse of a son I am."

"No, you are perfect, Jesper." She put her head against Jesper's. Jesper's body began to shake anew with unshed tears.

"I understand, Jesper, believe me, I do. You're still finding yourself. I lost myself for the longest time too. I always felt like either the world was too much for me or I was too much for the world. Trust me, though, when I say that you are meant for amazing things, Jesper. You can beat this, and you can find your place."

"But you're gone," then in a quiet choke, " You're gone ."

Now his Ma looked at him with an eyebrow raised, the same expression that played on Jesper's face whenever he was trying to dispel a bad mood. It wasn't a reliable expression most of the time, but perhaps because he was her son, it worked.

"Every moment you remember me, I'm still here," she replied with earnest eyes.

It was true, he realized. She was with him in every shot, every laugh, every tear, every moment. In every breeze that tickled his cheek, in every droplet of a rainbow, it was her. She would not leave him, not really, as long as he would remember her. He thrust himself forward and grasped his mother in a long-desired hug. He buried his chin in her light saffron blouse. He shuddered as he exhaled. Let her go. Slowly, he pushed himself until his arms were on her shoulders and he met her eyes.

After a while, she stood behind him and said, "Come on."

Jesper took one of his revolvers out and braced himself in stance. Feet apart, arms firm but still somewhat loose, chin tucked. Aditi Hilli took one of her arms and wrapped it around her son's. Together they pressed the trigger towards a wooden target on a distant tree.

Bang.

The bullet whooshed through the Bull's Eye.

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Jesper woke up with a start. He felt hot moisture dripping down his cheeks. He hastily wiped them away as he remembered that he was on the Slat. He couldn't show weakness. Not here. Wylan looked at him with concern.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

A small smile made its way onto Jesper's face. "More alright than I have been in a long time," Jesper replied genuinely. The tears that came now were happier ones.

1 week later

Inej

Inej shimmied down a drainpipe and made her way onto the tiled roof. She gripped onto the bumps on the roofs as handholds, making her way over to the Slat. She couldn't stay cooped up indoors for too long, and had decided to take a "stroll" throughout Ketterdam. Before she reached there, however, she made her way onto an imposing black building, tall and wide enough to fit a quarter of an entire city. Two boards read The Silver Six and The Crow Club.