Her Diary

23

Jennifer Winston
"Hi" a very friendly girl answer the door to Jeff and Johnny's home.

"Hi" I said confusingly.

"You must be Jennifer" she said.

"Is it that obvious?"

"My brothers speak about you often. How rude am I?, I'm Julia, their sister"

"Right. Are your brothers home?"

"Only Johnny is. Jeff is at soccer practice" she said smiling.

"Okay..I'll stop by later" I tried to turn away but, a hand that I once thought was the world's softest, caught me.

"Hey Jenny. Haven't seen you in a second. Have you been avoiding me?" He raised his left brow. I couldn't lie, but I could.

"Whaaaaat? My gaaaaadt?! Where did you hear that? Have ever?? Offended?! Um, no. What? Oh God. I-I jus..just ..laid low. Bye now" I started stuttering. Oh gosh! This only happens when I'm lying.

"You've been quiet all week. Although, you've been extremely busy hanging out with Jeff" I started walking to my door.

"No! Ha! Um.. no, what? Oh gosh you're so hot!" I accidentally said.

"Jenny, I like your nerd side, it's cute. How come you've started loosening your hair? Or these leather jackets? Is it because I took you to the club?" He asked concerned.

"No, Whaaaaat?"

"Stop lying to me!" He screamed.

He grabbed my shoulders with a force, he was quite strong.

"You're hurting me" I said slowly and calmly.

He let go.

"Jenny, stop rebelling. You'll get hurt"

"Um, I'm a big girl. I'm seventeen!"

"Exactly! You're seventeen!" He followed me into my home.

"You are like pushy right now" I said pushing him out.

"Wait, please, can you just be you? I liked Jennifer Lee Winston, not this Jenni-so-rebellious" he said sadly.

"J-" but he interrupted me.

"I'll see you around" he whispered and walked off. I'm confused! Didn't he follow me to my home?
Didn't he question me? Um, is he against my decision to rebel?, when it's his fault! Wait, this calls for my diary.

5 August 2015
17:23
Dear Diary....
I can't believe that Johnny, of all people, Johnny?! Decides to lecture me?! I know, ridiculous?! It's his fault! His fault I drank, his fault I rebel. Not so much, old habits die hard. My mom doesn't seem to mind, it doesn't affect my schoolwork nor do I have a father nor father figure, so, can you blame me?

If people have a problem with me and my attire they can go fudge themselves! I don't ca.. woah?! When did I become so I-don't-careish. Why am I this way? I'm a horrible person! Just like Tracey!

What has come over me? What's went wrong? What has become of Jennifer Lee Winston? Why am I Jenni-so-rebellious?

Has South Africa changed the Angel I was?
Xoxox
Jenni-so-rebellious

I closed my diary and cried. I grabbed a blade and cut through all my posters of rock 'n roll bands, Kanye West posters and all the posters of The Beatles, One Direction and 5SOS. I rummaged through my box of posters and photographs, after having my mental moment. I saw all my posters of Albert Einstein, William Shakespeare and Leonardo DaVinci, just as I left them five weeks ago. I removed them after I rebelled. I threw them out of my box and saw the last family photo of Dad, Jess, Tracey and I took. That day... I have an entry in my diary on that specific day.

1 September 2014
21:21
Dear Diary..
I know this is probably the last family photo the Winstons will take. Tracey and Dad argued all the way to and from the Edward Photograph Studio! First, Tracey took to long getting dressed. Then, she burnt our eggs. We went on an empty stomach to a Photoshoot that lasted a half-hour!

Dad tried to lighten the mood by chasing us around the house. We watched a family drama and Dad, being the sensitive person he is, stopped watching to tickle us. I know Tracey watched through the window how he chased us and tickled us.

Dad, even, came camping with us in the backyard!:-) he is all snuggled up against Jessica:-) cute. Dad likes to sleep against someone's back, but with us, he wraps a hand around our waist and whispers the sweetest things. (Like, "You're the prettiest girl I've ever met! Don't tell your mom!" He would chuckle.) I know it's his hand when there's hand around my waist, I felt it, when I was in Tracey's womb. He loves to fall asleep knowing his little girls are safely tucked away under his arm.

I love you Eugene Andrew Winston:-) Or Dad.

Xoxox
Jennifer

I threw my diary against the door and screamed, "I'm horrible! Worst person alive! What's wrong with me?!"

Tracey rushed in and held me in her arms.

"Ssh" she soothed my back.

"I'm horrible! Horrible! Worst person alive!" I shouted and cried bitterly.

"No, no you're not! You're the best daughter ever. You...light..up the room when you walk in, baby girl. You're beautiful! And so smart! You, you, you were the one thing that kept me alive when I was depressed. Smile? For me, if for nobody else, me"

I cried and smiled at the same time. She looked very genuine about her statement.

"Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes.." she started singing.

"Please continue, I don't know the song out by heart" Tracey said.

"But it's the only thing I know, Mom" I giggled but stopped when I said the M word! That doesn't exist in the Jenni-so-rebellious dictionary!

"Your obsession with these British artists!" She laughed.

"You wipe those tears, don't cry! You look even prettier crying, and no one must look prettier than me" she said jokingly.

"Ego runs in the family" I said laughing.

"Wipe those tears!"

I live to love my mom!:-)

I took all the posters off my wall and put in my box. I looked at Albert Einstein and remembered the day Jess bought me that Brainy magazine with that poster in:-)

I heard the laptop Skype notification ring.

"Hey Jenny!" Someone screamed after I answered.

"Hi Dad!"

I wasn't expecting that!