The Boy Who Helped Destroy Humanity

Brutal

Training is absolutely brutal. It's also fun. Apparently, a lot of people are afraid of me. That's OK with me though because with fear comes respect, most of the time. I'm not a bully, I don't bully people. I would never want to cause someone pain, I would never want to hurt anyone like I've been hurt. Never.
I'm still trying to get used to life here at camp. We've been introduced to 3DMG. It was pretty easy to balance and stuff. The crazy kid, Eren I think, was so excited to go, he ended up falling on his face. I'm surprised that he only has a minor concussion.
I've ended up eating lunch outside most of the time. It gives me time to think, to be alone, to talk to my family, and sometimes when I finish I go to the training room in the gym. I know this sounds weird but, sometimes I feel like someone's watching me. I could just be imagining it. Today at lunch someone came up to me. They were quivering, and it took all my strength not to burst out laughing. "Is it true that you can beat Annie and Mikasa in a fight?" I was stunned. We haven't gotten to the hand to hand combat part of our training. "Um, I wouldn't know, I haven't fought either of them." "Well then I guess we'll just have to see when it comes to hand to hand now won't we." I turn around to see Annie, Bertholdt, and Reiner standing behind me. "Annie, I'm not trying to start a fight with anyone here, and I'm not interested in fighting anyone because we have beef." I say. "We'll just see who excels in it then." She walks away. "I bet you twenty dollars you can't beat her." I look up to Reiner and see him smirking. "If you're willing to waste your money on a make believe fight, I won't stop you." He laughs as he walks away. Only Bertholdt is standing in front of me. "Well, are you wanting to place your bet too?" "What? No I don't gamble, I um, can I, I mean do you mind if I Uh, sit here?" What? DID I HEAR HIM RIGHT? Play it cool, play it cool. "No, I don't mind at all." He sits down. Think of something funny to say! Come on! "So, do you come here often?"
CRAP. You were supposed to say something clever and what do you do? Dammit, Plum.
"Yeah, I think we all do." he laughs. "I didn't mean to say that just forget about it." "Plum?" I turn to face him, "Yeah?" "You don't have to be embarrassed with what you said. It happens to everyone." Gosh, he's so forgiving. So sweet, and talented. So strong. Why does he hang out with Reiner and Annie? I'll just ask him. "Bertholdt, why do you hang out with Reiner and Annie? You seem so different than they are. You don't seem very mean either." Bertholdt drops his spoon. "They're the only people I have left." I can tell he doesn't want to talk about the subject anymore. I notice that after he picks up his spoon he doesn't eat anymore. So I give him my unused spoon. "What are you going to eat with?" "I'll just sop the soup up with my bread, and drink whatever's left." We continue to eat and once we're both done, we wait till lunch is over. "You know what Plum?" Oh gosh what did I do now? "Hmm?" He takes a deep breath, "You sure are a mystery." "How so?" "I just can't seem to figure you out. You're just so different and kind of like water." "What?"
"I mean you're never the same, even when you're just sitting there I can tell that you're constantly changing. You have so much to say but you don't say anything really. When you do speak though, everyone stops to listen, because they know that what you have to say is important." Whoa he's so poetic!
"You seem to know a lot about me by just a couple meals, and a few training sessions." Both of us blush, "Well it's just what I feel it doesn't have to be true." My heart pitter patters. What if going on? I've never felt this way before. Oh my gosh I'm starting to sweat. Oh no! What if he sees? That would be so embarrassing. Lunch is almost over. Soon I'll be able to escape this weird situation. "Plum? Plum? Are you OK?" "What? Oh, yeah, totally fine. Just dandy sitting over here. You know just sitting." "You were just kind of staring at your empty bowl. Like staring really intently at it." Oh my gosh I'm such a weirdo, he probably thinks I have an obsession with bowls. Why me? The bell rings. I am free to leave without there being any unnecessary awkwardness.
Everything is so brutal. His gaze is brutal. His life must have been brutal. Why else would someone like him end up here?
"Hey Plum? Can I talk to you later?" WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? Stay calm, it's the key to success. "Sure." He asks to carry my bowl to the sink but I politely decline. "I appreciate it, bu-" "I know, you can 'Carry your own weight'" he smirks. How Angelic. "So, I'll just be going... you know to class." "Alright, see you later then." I put my bowl in the sink, and scurry out the door.
So brutal.