denying affection (1)

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how do you stay too calm
how do you not show any emotion
how do you manage to stay so nonchalant
how did i end up looking like i was begging for someone—

to be as expressive as me
just as excited as me
just as wanting as me
are you even happy to talk to me?

am i wrong to ask for warmth,
in all the coldness of my youth
why do i feel iciness from your words,
despite them being the truth?

i'm growing tired with asking and begging,
i don't know what else to tell you
your words are just as loud as your actions,
it's all coming into view,

tell me,
is it bad to ask for something
that was denied all my life?
something as small as
show me a little bit more affection,
make me feel a little bit more loved?

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