Let Love Bleed - A Before You Exit Fanfiction (On hold)

nine.

If not for the bypassing cars and Connor’s ever so often coughs, the car ride home was completely silent as I stared out the window at the road flying by.

Connor cleared his throat and continued driving. I sighed quietly and tried to recap what had happened.

1)Connor kissed me.

2)I kissed him back.

That’s it. One kiss and now we’re silent. We’re never quiet with each other.

Biting my bottom lip, I gaze at him secretly, and just as I’m about to look away he catchest me looking at him and he smiles cheerfully. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion.

The minute we pull up in front of the house I leap out of the car and make a dash through the door, running past Toby. “I’ll talk to you then!” I shout to him, racing to the living room.

Dropping onto the couch I grasp my hair and begin to breathe deeply.

What does all of this mean?

“Erm..I think we should talk.” I gaze up to see Connor standing over me. My heart hammers against my chest, but I stand up instantly and follow him up to his bedroom.

I watch as he shuts the door and I sit on the edge of his bed. He joins my side and ruffle his hair, scratching the back of his neck.

“So, yeah..About the kiss..” He begins, I wait and listen to what he’s going to say, looking at the ground, feeling my cheeks turn crimson. “You’re probably wondering why I did that?” He asks more than states.

I nod my head, waiting for him to get to the point. “I’m not sure why I did that..” He mumbles, “It felt like the right thing to do, and then you kissed me back and I don’t know now..” his usual smile was turned more into a look of uncertainty.

I sway my legs through the air and steady my breathing, “It felt like the right thing to do was to go along with it.” I whisper, avoiding his eye contact.

I felt his hand cup my cheek, forcing me to look into his eyes. “Kody, I liked it. I know I shouldn’t have but it felt..right.” He spoke the words steadily, staring into my eyes.

My heart raced, and I wanted to look away badly, but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t find it in me to look away. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship.” I quickly coo, biting my bottom lip.

“It doesn’t have to be ruined.”

I rest my head on his chest and frown, feeling terrible. “What are you trying to say?” I ask.

“I’ve been in love with you since the day I met you..” He murmured so quietly I had to process what he had said. I gasp, lifting my head up, staring into his jaw dropping blue eyes. “Why have you never told me?”

“I didn’t want you to not want to be friends with me because I had a silly crush on you. So I thought if we were friends I’d learn to be happy with just that. I’m not happy. I’m miserable. I have to act like I don’t feel anything towards you but friendship and it’s killing me.” I can hear the pain in his voice and I feel tears spill down my cheek. I sniffle and as I’m going to wipe them off, Connor beats me, lightly swiping his thumb across my cheek.

“Connor, I don’t know what to-” I am cut off by his lips lightly coming into contact with mine. Before I can pull away he wraps both his arms around me and rubs my back with one hand, and with the other he brings my head closer to his. I shut my eyes tightly, and stay where I am, feeling his lips move against mine, waiting for me to kiss him back. I wanted to so badly say I felt nothing, but I can’t deny how I felt. He was right. It felt so right. It felt like everything was in place and nothing could hurt me ever again.

I heard the door open and I pulled away instantly. Riley was standing at the door, looking as if he had just seen a ghost giving birth to an elephant. I covered my mouth with my hand and Connor stood up quickly.

“Hi, Riley!” He tried to play off as if nothing had just happened.

“Uh, don’t worry bro, I won’t tell mom or dad, or anyone what just umm,’ he stuttered over his words, “what I just saw.” He looked right at me, his cheeks flushed of color. “Your secret is safe with me.” And he shut the door.

I covered my face in my hands and muttered, “Fuck.”

Connor quickly sat back down and draped an arm across my shoulder. “Don’t worry. He won’t tell my mom or dad.”

“But now he probably thinks we’ve been doing this for years!” I mumble.

“I’ll talk to him about it later.” Connor suggests, trying to comfort me.

Frowning I lay back against his bed and I remain silent.

I feel his strong arms wrap around my body. I relax into his touch as he whispers into my ear, “Believe me when I say I will always be there.”

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I'm sorry it sucks so badly, I don't even know what I tried to do. I'll try to update again this week, no promises though. Please leave a review and let me know what you think. It always helps. Thank you again for reading. (: