KC

July 31, 2015 - 21:17 •Oh what the fuck•

Hello Internet,

Let me start off by saying the Woman and I ended everything romantic between us. I just really needed to know the truth from her and she finally told me, straight up. And you know what? I'm finally fucking happy. I'm 100% okay with our breakup now, I no longer have the need to latch, I'm okay that she's moved on, I've moved on. We're still friends, we're still cool, theres nothing weird between us. I just feel free, you know? I do want to be with someone, no one in particular, because I have unrealistic desires of a person. Which brings me to the point of this fucking entry....

I think I'm going insane, finally. Somehow my brain figured out how to conjure up my "dream man" and fucking put him in all of my dreams?????? Like, how does this fucking happen? I go to bed on sunday night, and my brain makes up the man named Michael. The dreams involving him have been going on everyday since. I don't know why the fuck this is happening, but it is. I'm not entirely complaining, I just want to know why. And I remember everything! That doesn't usually happen, that I remember all of the details! I mean, day by day, it goes on a time line. The first dream, I'm 20 and I meet "Michael" at a festival just asking him to buy my alcohol since I'm underaged. He does and we get to talking... Nevermind, you probably don't want an in depth description. But yeah, I meet a hot guy named Michael, we get married and have a kid (unfortunately but whatever), and we get a house built right outside of Portland... It's great and I seem really happy. I'm gonna hate if this actually happens, because my dreams "come true" a lot and I get the deja vu feeling and I hate that feeling a lot. So I mean, that awful feeling would occur a lot.

I don't know, these dreams are just kind of freaking me out. I just want to know why. I can't stop thinking about it. I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do...

Until next time,

-Kacy