Absolutely Incorrect Enhypen

156

Warning: 🔞

-♡-

Riki: I'm not saying I want to die, I'm just saying if someone sniped me from a rooftop, I'd say thank you.

Sunoo: Same, but I'd ask for a final selfie first.

-♡-

Jungwon: Hyung, you're glowing. What happened?

Sunghoon: Let's just say someone rearranged my organs like a mid-year cleaning.

Riki: [whispering to Jake] Is that romantic or terrifying?

Jake: Depends if you survive it.

-♡-

Heeseung: Jake asked me to peg him-

Jake: Don't say it like that!

Heeseung: How do you want me to say it?

Jake: Say it respectfully.

Jay: 'Jake requested a gentleman's submission.'

-♡-

Sunoo: Therapy is expensive, so I just tell myself I'm iconic and suppress everything like a true Asian eldest child.

Jungwon: You're not even the eldest.

Sunoo: Trauma doesn't care about birth order.

-♡-

Jungwon: I read that physical touch reduces stress.

Riki: So does getting hit by a bus.

Heeseung: Or getting railed until you forget your name.

Jay: Y'all need prayer and a weighted blanket.

-♡-

Sunghoon: Is it bad if I fantasize about Jay choking me... like, emotionally and physically?

Sunoo: No babes, that's just trauma-based attachment.

-♡-

Jake: I like my men like I like my coffee- hot, strong, and able to ruin my sleep schedule.

Jungwon: I like my men like I like my ramen- spicy.

Riki: Y'all need Jesus.

Sunghoon: Jesus ghosted me after the second date.

-♡-

Jay: We need to stop sleeping with each other.

Sunghoon: We haven't even started yet.

Jay: I was manifesting guilt in advance.

-♡-

Jake: If Heeseung wears a turtleneck again, I will cheat on my boyfriend.

Heeseung: I am your boyfriend.

Riki: I am begging you both to get a room. Or at least a curtain.

-♡-

Some mild adult jokes with existential crisis as a bonus. It was a request, but since I have readers of 12 years old, I'm afraid to take things further. You can tell me what you wanna read though. I'll try my best to dig up the internet or make some by myself.