Our Little Deadly Secret

Let's Start Over

I was kicked out of the building for the rest of the week. And it wasn't even my fault. According to my parents, who had to have an emergency meeting with the principal, guidance counsellor, vice principal, and the teacher that came to my aide and helped me off the floor (which was one of my favourite teachers from my freshman year), they all agreed that it was too soon for me to come back with everything that had happened between Ryan's death, Maac's outbursts, and how emotionally vulnerable I apparently seemed to them. And my parents had the balls to agree with them. So I was forced to stay home basically until the new year. But in the meantime, the principal was going to make sure that my school needs were accommodated. Through zoom. I would have to sign in and call the teachers right as class was starting from my own personal laptop. Each teacher I was with had to create an account from their school email so the principal could make sure there was no foul play. But of course there was. It was called I never clocked in for the day. I, instead, just laid in my bed, curled into a ball. Kept to myself. Made sure that I was hidden from the world and it's responsibilities. The same ones that would, in over a year and a half, decide if I graduate or not. But in the moment? That wasn't a me issue.

So imagine how I felt that by that Friday, when the doorbell rung, I was not only shocked that he was standing on the other side of the door, but that he also was yelling at me for not participating in my school work.

I had rolled my eyes as I tried to shut the door in his face when he pushed his hand against the door, stopping it in its tracks. I didn't dare look at him when he then spoke to me.

"Please... I came here because your parents asked me to check in on you."

"I'm fine. I don't need a babysitter..." I slightly snapped at him.

"Selena... please. Don't be like this. I'm sorry about how I acted Monday," He sighed before continuing. "I don't know what else you want from me. I know I had been pushing you away over the past month, but I need you to understand... I was doing it to protect you. To protect us. I was starting to experience things. Feelings I shouldn't have been following. That's why I acted the way I did. What happened in the faculty bathroom Halloween night? It was all my fault. I shouldn't have kissed you. I should have controlled myself. I can stand here and make excuses. Say that I'm just a man with needs. But I also know that won't slide. So just... please know I'm trying my best to keep the distance that should have been there from the beginning. So neither one of us gets in trouble."

I froze, looking down at the ground as he just looked at me with sorrow in his eyes. I didn't dare look at him. Instead, I played with the bracelet he had given me for my birthday, speaking softly to him.

"Mr. Maac..." I started off, knowing it killed him to hear me call him by his professional name.

"No..." he replied, slightly upset. He knew where this was going. "Please don't do this..."

"I think we should keep a professional relationship between each other," I continued. "I have deleted your number from my phone and any messages between us. I will also be returning your copy of your house key by the end of the week. And I think you should take this back before someone gets suspicious of it." I then reached down to unclasp the bracelet from my wrist before I attempted to hand it back to him.

"No. Keep it. That was a birthday present..."

"That has done nothing but caused issues. I can't. Just take it. Please, Mr. Maac."

I shoved the bracelet into his hands before shutting the door on him. I could have walked away. But I stood right behind the door as I heard him sigh before he spoke one last time.

"Just... just promise me. Not as your neighbour. Or your friend. But as your teacher... you'll go to your classes via zoom. Please?"

I could then hear his footsteps as they slowly walked away from the front door, but not before I heard a small plink of something falling on the ground in front of the door. I probably stood at the door for a good five minutes, making sure I was confident enough to assume Maac was back in his house before I opened the door to find the bracelet I had given back to him on the cold concrete stairs.