Dear Diary: It's A Secret

Dear Diary: Chapter 3

February 9th, 2015

Dear Diary:

Sometimes when I look at my aunt's son fight with his wife, I think of my parents- only when it's too bad.

My cousin once punched the door in anger, no one can see it, because it's covered with wallpaper, and on top of it was a sticky tag, with "I love Kylie- my cousin's wife, Simon, and Varian- my cousin's two sons.

I laugh at that whenever I see it. Where does their love go when they cuss at each other? What about when Austin, my cousin abused Kylie in the beginning of their relationship? God, that was horrible.

I would've never known if it wasn't for my older sister, Victoria. There was once a time when I used to love Austin with all my heart, but after I found out what he did, the love I had for him went down the drain.

Victoria told me, Aunt Lucinda gave Kylie the choice to  throw Austin out of the house. But Kylie didn't because 'once you start living with someone you start loving them'- Victoria's words not mine.

She told me all this to explain that beauty and Romeo wouldn't get divorced. Yet, at the end they did.

Anyways that was all when I lived in New York, now I was in London. Away from them all, from their messed up lives, trying to figure mine out.

If I'm in the mood then maybe once in a year during one of the breaks we have, I go visit, or if they have time they come here. That's only when I'm in the mood. The mood which comes to me almost never.

"Serena," Mrs. Rathi, my English teacher called.

I looked up at her, letting out a sigh when she directed me to come over.

"Yeah?" I spoke, when I had reached her desk, knowing that some around us were eavesdropping. Seriously I didn't care a bit.

"I shouldn't even be caring about all this, because you should be responsible enough to hand in your assignments. But, I am, because I taught you last year too. And then you weren't like this. In the beginning of last year you were doing great, one of the honour roll students. However, now you've joined the weakest ones," she explained, carefully watching me. As if I would break any second.

What was I suppose to tell her?

That after everything that had happened, my mind was somewhere else while working. Then suddenly I realized there was no point in doing any of this. It wasn't like my parents were waiting for me back home, wanting me to make them proud.

There was no one for me, and there never would be.

"Okay..." I trailed off, acting as if I had lost interest in the conversation. "Why are you telling me all this?"

She placed one of the strands of her black her behind her ear. She clasped her hand together, not breaking eye contact with me.

"I'm willing to take off all the demerits you've gotten in the past months, making your chances of getting expelled less." she stated. I gave her a skeptical glance, unsure of where all this would lead to. She lifted a finger in the air, her eyes never leaving mine. "But, in return I want you to work hard. Before the break I want to see improvement in your work and behaviour and I'll let you off the hook. How does that sound?"