Dear Diary: It's A Secret

Dear Diary: Chapter 16

February 23rd, 2015

Dear Diary:

A new day, another chance. Isn't that what the start of every day signifies?

Well for me it meant something completely different. A new day,
meant another chance for someone to laugh in my face, reminding me of everything I had lost.

How did I lose everything I had?

Because of my ungratefulness. Even if I never admit it, deep down I know why I have nothing left with me today.

I want everything I lost, back. However the question is: can I really get everything back? Can all the people who left me come back?

I want Eden to come back, for him to never have cheated on me. I want Tyler, Paisley, and Anaya to be my friends again. I want Damon to be alright again, for him to walk up to my locker every morning and joke around like he always did. I want beauty to be my mom, I want Romeo to be my dad, and Victoria to be my loving sister once again.

But, is this all possible? Can I really get them all back in my life?

Why for some reason do I feel like the answer is no?

Because maybe it is. I can't change anything that happened in the past. No matter how much I desired for something to change, I knew that what has once happened could never be changed again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

*Flashback To The Last Time Damon And Serena Talked*

"He wasn't worth it in the first place," Damon started, placing his hand over my own.

We sat outside on the picnic benches during lunch, with me staring ahead at nothing in particular, while Damon did his best to make me feel better. Tyler was gone for practice, Anaya was hanging out with some other friends, and Paisley was gone for an appointment. When Asim, Tyler and Damon found out what Eden had been doing this whole time they had made sure to beat Eden up into a pulp. Something which had made me feel slightly better, yet it still couldn't help with the feelings of betrayal coursing through me.

It had been a month since I found out about Eden's other girlfriend, a month since we broke up, and a month since I felt useless.

After all in the end everyone did end up leaving me.

"He already had a girlfriend, Damon," I whispered. "He was already dating someone else. Then why did he have to do this to me?"

I hadn't seen him again since that day, and I was glad for that. News was he was leaving soon, which made me sad but happy at the same time. I didn't want to see him anymore or have anything to do with him.

Damon pulled me in for a side hug, resting his chin on top of my head. He rubbed soothing circles on my arm, slightly making me uncomfortable suddenly with his actions.

"Forget him, Serena, and look around you," he said. "There are so many other people who care for you, why can't you give them a chance?"

I pushed away from him, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion.

"What are you talking about?" I questioned.