Dear Diary: It's A Secret

Dear Diary: Chapter 20

May 4th, 2015

Dear Diary:

Time seems to be flying. Everything I had once known slowly coming to an end. I was going to graduate, surprisingly the ugly grades I had I managed to turn them into decent. No mark of mine was below 82% anymore, which I was happy for.

In about a month I would graduate Jadewen High, and even though now everything seemed to be going back to normal, I was happy to graduate. Because deep down I knew that I didn't want to stay here anymore.

I don't see Tyler around much, but when I do he smiles- or as best as he can muster up, and nods acknowledging my presence. When Anaya found out that Tyler and I were back on talking basis, she started making small talk with me at times. However I could truly care less of what she does, or what happens nowadays.

Everything seems to be back to normal, excluding Damon's death, all that I have to now fix is my broken friendship with Paisley. Because no matter what, she was my best friend once upon a time. I hurt her, she hurt me. We were even, but I needed to fix everything that happened between us before it was too late.

With everything that happened, I forgot something. My birthday passed by months ago, and the sad thing was neither did I nor anyone else remember. It kind of hurt that no one who could've remembered wished me, but with the circumstances I let it go. Funny how if this had happened a few years ago, I wouldn't have let it go that easily, yet now I just had much worser things to worry about.

"Paisley," I called, just as she was getting ready to walk out the door.

The whole class I spent my time, trying to figure out what I wanted to say to her. I couldn't find the courage to go up to her when she first entered and say sorry. I was afraid of what she might say, afraid that I might just make matters worse by saying something she didn't want to hear.

To sum it all up I was a coward.

"Yeah?" She asked, surprise visible in her tone.

I hugged my books tightly to my chest, panic rushing through my body, as I stepped out of the class, her by my side.

"Is there something you need?" She questioned, raising an eyebrow, when I said nothing. I couldn't get myself to say anything to her. "Perhaps you might need me to do your homework?" She added in a quieter tone, yet I still caught on to it.

I frantically shook my head, staring at her with wide eyes. "Of course not," I whisper-shouted. "I just needed to tell you something."

"I'm listening," she stated, patiently waiting for me to speak up.

I looked around the place, not sure of where to start. The hallways were crowded with people, some pushing past the others to get to their destination before lunch would be over. I didn't know for how long I stood there or for when I closed my eyes shut, before opening them up again and saying what I should've said in the very beginning.

"I'm sorry," I spoke. "And I know that sorry doesn't always fix everything, but this is all I have left to say to someone; to you. I was being selfish this whole time, only thinking about myself, however I know realized how wrong I was. Please forgive me, I'm sorry. I truly am."

Unexpectedly, a smile made its way on Paisley's lips, as she drew me in for a hug.

Now that was something I hadn't expected.

"I'm sorry too, and don't worry I forgive you. I'm so glad we could get past this," she exclaimed, pulling back from the hug.

I let out a sigh of relief, "Same here."

I awkwardly chuckled when she grinned at me for a minute and twenty five seconds. Yes, I was counting.

"Does that mean we can be friends again?" She asked, hope etched on her face.

I shrugged, my lips pressed into a thin line.

Forgiving someone was okay now, but was it okay to make them my friends again?

Did I start thinking of Tyler as my friend again, or even Anaya?

I don't know.

Did I want to?

I don't know.

Paisley snapped me out of my thoughts, merely chuckling. "Serena it's okay. You don't have to give me... right?" I nodded, not sure of what I was agreeing to when she asked. It was getting harder to pay attention. I should go back to taking my pills, rather than skipping them.

"It's good to know your habit of zoning out still hasn't changed a bit. See you later," she laughed, then walked away, and about five minutes after that the bell rang.

Did I spend thirty minutes of my life just to tell her I was sorry?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I was happy. For the first time in about a million years I felt happy. Why? Because I didn't feel as though I was going to die, or be swallowed by the silence in my life. I felt like the sun was shining brightly once again, birds were singing, and everything was just great.

That's what I should have been feeling after everything that happened. After all this time I should've been able to feel like it could all be fine again.

But, no something always had to go wrong. Or maybe I was just being ungrateful. Whatever it was, I wasn't ready for what came next in my life.

I wasn't ready to know that my warden would tell me to check my mailbox. I didn't know I would see Asim there. I didn't know I would stop to talk to him. I didn't know he would ask me after a while in our conversation if I was here to check my mailbox. I didn't know I would suddenly be tempted to know who had sent me a mail. I didn't know I would leave, but come back during the night because I would be so tempted to check. I didn't know I wouldn't only have one, but many envelopes waiting to be opened by me. I didn't know it would be my one and only sister, Victoria, who the letters would belong to.

And I would've never known that one of those letters belonged to none other than Damon himself.

Never would I have known.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Hey, Salut, Assalamwaliakum, Hola, or Hallo.

How is making another person's day turning out for you guys?

Question of the day:

What do you think Damon's letter might say or Victoria's letters?

Hope you are enjoying my story. Thank you to everyone who supports my story.

Anyways Alvida for now!

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