Dear Diary: It's A Secret

Dear Diary: Chapter 19

March 4th, 2015

Dear Diary:

I didn't count how long it's been since the death of Damon. I didn't want to. It seems strange. A void feeling taking over me as my body drowns in darkness.

I don't know what to feel, what to do. It seems as though everything really is over. Even though it had been a year since I last saw Damon, it felt as though he was just with me yesterday, and today he's gone. Vanished into thin air, leaving behind only memories.

But, I know we can't stop living. Because time stops for no one. We all knew that, yet Tyler seems to have forgotten. I know how it feels to lose someone so special to you, hell I lost three special people in my life in only a year's time. I miss Damon, really do. However I know that I have to move on, and Tyler has to, too. I know it won't be easy, but he has to try.

Yeah, I did grieve over them, and even though there is a slight difference in Tyler and I's case, it's not like I even get to meet them now. Last time I saw them was about five years ago. I miss them at times, I do. I did stop living for a while, I did. However, after a while I realized there was no point, they were never going to come back.

That day when I went to Tyler's house and talked to him, I felt as if a burden had been lifted off of my shoulders. It seems as though everything could be normal again, or as normal as it could get with all the circumstances.

I sat in history, tapping my pencil on the desk, my mind elsewhere, while the teacher taught us.

"Hey," someone spoke nudging me in the side.

I turned to my right, raising an eyebrow, when I found Adagio sat next to me.

"How did you get here?" I asked, my eyes searching the classroom for the kid, who was sitting next to me when class had started.

"I walked here," he answered, repeating the same answer he had given me the first time I had asked him the same question.  "How many times are you going to ask me the same question?"

I rolled my eyes, "Adagio, I meant don't you sit on the other side of the classroom?"

After the last time Adagio mentioned me being the same as all the other bullies out there, we never had another proper conversation. I was glad for that, things with him would always somehow end up escalating quickly.

He nodded, "Yeah, but I just wanted to come check on you. I hope your doing okay after the death of your friend. It sucks when someone you know dies, and you were really close with them."

Who told him?

"Yeah," I agreed, staring down at my empty notebook. I just couldn't get myself to take notes. "Did you have someone who died?"

"My uncle," he replied, running a hand through his hair. "I was really close to him, and it really hurt when he died. Everything seemed so different, I felt so lost. It just isn't the same anymore. It feels like everything's just over. I still can't get over the fact that he's no more, even though it has been a year now."

I glanced at him, only to find him staring at me with an emotion I couldn't decipher.

"At least you'll have some good memories of him, whenever you think of him. Be happy some don't even get that," I told him, saying the first thing that came to my mind.