Dear Diary: It's A Secret

Dear Diary: Chapter 7

February 13th, 2015

Dear Diary:

Some people say love is not painful, it can change anything.

Then I guess whatever I felt for my parents, and sister wasn't love. Because I wouldn't be hurt at the end if it was love.

Some people say true love can never be forgotten.

Then I guess I've never seen true love. Because everyone who was once in love around me fell out of love really fast.

If love is really that special and it could fix anything, then why haven't I ever seen it? Why is that wherever I go there is always a lack of love?

Why for once am I not able to say that I believe in love? Why is it that whoever I once loved left me?

Maybe because at the end, some of us deep down know that love doesn't exist. That there is no such thing as true love. Because if it did exist then why couldn't I find even one person who was truly in love?

I rolled my eyes at Paisley, finding her behaviour irritating. She continuously worked on our lab assignment, letting me fall behind.

I wouldn't have minded, but to pass I needed to know what we were learning, and if Paisley kept up this attitude of hers, I would never pass.

"Do you understand the meaning of a partner?" I asked her with irritation.

Just yesterday I was hell bent on changing my partner, yet later on I realized if I could handle Tyler then Paisley was nothing. There may have been a time when she went against me, however at that time she had all the other kids with her. Alone she was nothing. I could easily crush her, mentally and physically.

She looked up at me furrowing her eyebrows in confusion. "What do you mean?"

I let out a dramatic sigh, causing kids to turn our way. Some chuckled, finding my behaviour amusing.

"We are suppose to work together, okay?" I stated, running a hand through my caramel brown hair. "I don't want you doing all the work."

Mrs. Darvin glanced at me, shooting me a warning look, as if telling me to behave, which I replied with a shrug.

I didn't find anything wrong in my behaviour.

Paisley rose her eyebrows in recognition, nodding her head. "Oh, that's what you mean. But, I thought you wouldn't want to do any work, just like the old times."

"What do you mean by the old times?" I questioned, skeptically.

"Nothing," she murmured, then quietly she added, "Of course you would forget, after all I was the only one who did the work."

Perhaps I wouldn't have heard that if it wasn't for the fact that we were sat close, our shoulders slightly touching with every movement that was made.

"I heard that," I whispered, an unknown feeling forming in the pit of my stomach. A feeling which made me look down at my paper, and avoid eye contact with Paisley. Remorseful. Only a little bit of it.