Dear Diary: It's A Secret

Dear Diary: Chapter 10

February 17th, 2015

Dear Diary:

Over the past years I have learnt something. We get hurt once, we get hurt twice, but the point is that we know that we are getting hurt, only because we are feeling the pain. However what happens when one stops feeling, and becomes numb to all the pain around?

They become heartless, emotionless, a living stone, who cares about nothing. That's what has become of me.

The thing about high school was that not everyone knew you. Everyday you could meet someone new, make a new friend, and feel like it's the first day. Yet, after everything that happened between Tyler and I, I couldn't find the courage to go to someone else, and start over again. I had just accepted the fact, that maybe no matter how much I tried at the end I would be left alone.

I liked making new friends everyday, years ago, thinking that even if one left I'll have the others by my side. But that wasn't true. As soon as Tyler showed his true colours, all my friends decided to change sides.

I wonder what I have done, and where I have gone wrong. Everything always takes me back to the beginning. If it wasn't for my parents getting a divorce I would never be here. What did I do to be neglected by my parents in the first place?

Did I ever disagree to something they told me to do? No.

Did I ever disrespect them? No.

Did I ever want them to leave me? No.

Then why even after all that, did they leave me?

Perhaps I would never get an answer to my questions.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

*Flashback To When Victoria Left The House*

"Mom don't do this?" Victoria begged mom, her eyes red from all the crying she had been doing since the morning, and tears still running down her cheeks.

I wiped away my own tears, hugging my knees to my chest as I watched my sister practically beg my mom not to divorce dad. My heart was non stop drumming with an increased amount of force against my chest, as if it would pop out any second. In this situation that would be much better. I would rather die than watch my family fall apart.

"Victoria stop annoying me. I don't want to live with him, and he doesn't either. You shouldn't care, this is none of your business," my mom snapped, throwing some papers in her handbag as she made her way to the door.

Victoria ignored mom's bickering, and made a move to step in front of the front door, blocking mom's path.

"No, mom," Victoria cried. "Please don't do this. Please." Victoria grabbed mom's hands, holding them to her face.

Mom struggled to get her hands out of Vicky's grip, and when she did, her hand came in contact with Victoria's cheek. Silence filled the room, the sound of the slap echoing around the living room. A sob suddenly escaped my lips, causing Vicky to turn my way. Pain etched on her face.

"Try coming in my way again, and you will get another slap," my mom warned pushing a shocked Victoria out of her way, as she stomped her way outside to the car.

"V-Vicky," I whispered, when Vicky made no movement to move from her spot, it seemed like she was frozen. Who wouldn't be after being slapped from their mom? The mom who had never hurt her children, and had always dearly loved them.